The National is great reflective music. The kind that allows for connection between mind and emotion... which I greatly need right now. The last month has been mostly mind, with little room to actually feel what God is giving me through this. I need to feel... I long to connect with my emotions so that I can process this chapter in my life. I know that it will be a process, but I need to begin unravelling the layers.
I now have quiet. I now have the space to reflect. Summer missions are over, the troops have left, and it’s back to life as usual at Bethanie. The last two days have been crazy, busy, slow, good, and bad all at the same time. We got back here night before last after a two day 25 hour drive from Croatia. The final day was painful to say the least. I wasn’t able to sleep, was in a grumpy mood, was bloated, and just generally was sick of being around people. The 15 hours in the mini-bus went slow and towards the end I was fighting an increasing spiritual battle. Debrief day started out really good... praying and internally unloading everything that happened. There was a great amount of peace in me and I was able to express some things and hash through things with God. After lunch I sat in a corner with my thoughts while Hannah played piano. In a sudden flash peace turned into chaos. I heard a scream and then a yell... Chrissie ran in shouting “Gerard, quick! Emergency!” I walked outside where people were running all different directions. Over by the fire pit I spotted Matt and Chez kneeling next to Jon and holding his leg in the air. “It went through his foot” Jonah said as I walked up to him. “So much blood.” It was then that I realized what had happened. The axe the Aaron had bought for Jon for his birthday was being used to chop firewood for that evening. In a swift and inexperienced swing, Jon had planted it squarely in the top of his foot. As Chez wrapped the gauze tightly around his ankle, the blood pumped through his sock with rhythm of his heartbeat.
Needless to say, that unfortunate mishap changed everything about debrief day. It caused me to have to sit down and chat with God about judgements I had made against Jon, and again I was staring my pride straight in the face. It’s still amazing to me how pride and self righteousness can be cloaked in such a beautiful disguise, and yet when uncovered, stink so bad. Now that the dust is settling, again I’m staring into the great abyss between chapters in life. So many question marks... and so many things to reflect upon. I don’t even know where to begin, but I do know that God knows... and now I get to trust his timing in revealing things to me about why the last three months happened. I know there’s a purpose behind this chapter... but He hasn’t allowed me to process much... just experience it. Almost like he’s turned that aspect of my being off, and enhanced another. Now I get to start the trickle down process. Let the next chapter begin.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Training
I’m actually going to write for my blog today. Actually it’s the first time I’ve written anything in about two weeks... oh well. I have been writing in my book, and I’m glad I at least have a start. Today is the first day of summer missions training, and it has been very hot. I can’t believe in five days I’m heading to Croatia... just the thought feels rather crazy at this point, but I know it will be good. The teaching this morning was on the sower and the seed, and how the little seeds God plants in our lives are sowed into the root system of our relationship with him. Carolyn Ros led it, and I must say that she is a very gifted teacher and brilliant at getting to the heart of people. She also spoke on the weeds and rocks that we constantly have to clear and dig up in order to keep our relationship with God growing, and it got me thinking about how I personally always see the big things, but it’s the little weeds in my life that I pay no attention to that end up becoming the big things. I’m realizing more and more that I’m in a cycle of hitting a big wall, falling on my face, renewing my relationship with God and letting him pick me back up, doing great for awhile, then coasting until I hit another big wall, and the cycle keeps repeating itself. I think this cycle was made real for me today from the realization that I’m in the habit of ignoring the small weeds in my life. I’ve never viewed them as much of an issue, until they turn into the big weeds and then all of the sudden I’m getting choked out and falling to the ground.
It’s an interesting realization, and I’m hoping and praying that God gives me more insight as to what he wants to deal with in me over this next week and during the time in Croatia.
Lord please help me to see what you want me to see. Open my eyes to the small weeds and help me to be able to give them to you. Help me have grace for others around me during this time, and please direct me in my constant struggle with lust and pride. I need your grace today. In your son’s precious name, amen.
It’s an interesting realization, and I’m hoping and praying that God gives me more insight as to what he wants to deal with in me over this next week and during the time in Croatia.
Lord please help me to see what you want me to see. Open my eyes to the small weeds and help me to be able to give them to you. Help me have grace for others around me during this time, and please direct me in my constant struggle with lust and pride. I need your grace today. In your son’s precious name, amen.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Effort
I really don’t want to write right now. I’m forcing myself in all honesty. I have to try and get in the habit of this, as the thought of writing a book is still too intimidating. Hopefully blogging can just miraculously turn into a book someday... although in order for my random clusters of words to actually make sense to someone, they will need some HEAVY editing. So maybe I should just start from scratch. I don’t know. I still don’t know what to write or where to start really... Do I begin with Natalie? Do I begin with my Journey? Do I begin with France? Maybe my ‘finding God’ moment... See, this is exactly why I haven’t started. I don’t get anywhere. All I get is a bunch of fucking questions and random thoughts that lead nowhere. Alright Joseph... breathe. So it’s definitely a bit of a spiritual battle when I write as well. There’s no way that every time I sit down it’s just a coincidence that I can’t think straight and feel totally defeated before I start. This is one of the areas where renewing my mind with the word and resisting the lies that satan is trying to interject will come in very helpful.
I know I’m supposed to write. God has spoke this to me through many people. My story needs to be told. For who exactly? I don’t really know. Maybe my children someday so that they can truly know their father... maybe just for random people that i become friends with so that I don’t have to spend endless hours telling them my story. Cause that’s the thing... it’s like a domino effect. If people want any depth with me, one question will enevitably lead to 50 more questions and four hours later. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I don’t like telling my story, but it honestly wears me out unless it’s broken down into digestible bite sized amounts. That’s it! Maybe I should just start with perfecting one digestible bite sized amount at a time... then tie them all together in a wild and colorful soiree of MADNESS. I’m brilliant. Then write I shall... after a word from our sponsors... which happen to be Coca-cola and Marlboro.
I know I’m supposed to write. God has spoke this to me through many people. My story needs to be told. For who exactly? I don’t really know. Maybe my children someday so that they can truly know their father... maybe just for random people that i become friends with so that I don’t have to spend endless hours telling them my story. Cause that’s the thing... it’s like a domino effect. If people want any depth with me, one question will enevitably lead to 50 more questions and four hours later. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I don’t like telling my story, but it honestly wears me out unless it’s broken down into digestible bite sized amounts. That’s it! Maybe I should just start with perfecting one digestible bite sized amount at a time... then tie them all together in a wild and colorful soiree of MADNESS. I’m brilliant. Then write I shall... after a word from our sponsors... which happen to be Coca-cola and Marlboro.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Rhythm
It’s a big part of what makes the world go round really. The various rhythms in which we live our lives give us the unheard beat that is needed in order to sustain. A daily, weekly and monthly pattern that is meant to help keep us in balance. Some rhythms are more balanced than others, and some more sparratic. Some are healthy, and some unhealthy, but the essentials are always present. Eating and drinking, human contact, work, rest, and entertainment are at the core of most peoples schedules. They are all things that we are so used to as a part of our rhythm that we tend to not think about them much. The problem with these basics, as healthy as they are, is that they are empty without one crucial element. Soul food. A connect to our maker, a seeking, a serving, a striving to feed our souls and relationship with the creator. God intended life to have a rhythm I think... ours just tends to be a little backwards compared to the one he desires for us. I just happen to notice for myself, how easily my rhythm wears me out... the essentials are there, but there never seems to be balance. Any one thing in excess or extreme lack tends to throw everything into the unpleasant catagory. For example, when I’m working too much, it affects my rest, cheapens my human contact, makes me over eat or under eat and leads me to be absorbed in entertainment to an unhealthy extent. Or when I’m not getting enough healthy human contact, I tend to feel down and depressed, which in turn affects my work performance and causes me to turn to food as a companion. I’ve come to realize that my rhythm is seldom a healthy one... and being here at Bethanie has shed a great light on that.
Bits of God are thrown into my schedule here and there, and I have moments of peace... moments where things feel balanced, but basing my rhythm in worship, prayer, and the word have honestly never been that appealing to me. Like doing a homework assignment before play time, my mentality has always been ‘let’s get this out of the way so that I can get onto the fun things’. I still struggle with this... but I’m at a place where I have the rhythm to work on it. Every day here the first 30-45 minutes are spent in prayer, there’s regular worship times, and biblical/self study times as well. But more than anything, the things done here are done from a heart of thanksgiving and worship. From the working to the writing, to the food preparation, to the eating... it’s all done from a different core. Acknowledging God in the simple things. Having him as the baseline for the rhythm. I like this. Now that I’m in this routine and will be for the next few months, I hope and pray that this carries with me when I return home. There’s simply more peace and deeper rest... which affects every other element in a positive way.
Bits of God are thrown into my schedule here and there, and I have moments of peace... moments where things feel balanced, but basing my rhythm in worship, prayer, and the word have honestly never been that appealing to me. Like doing a homework assignment before play time, my mentality has always been ‘let’s get this out of the way so that I can get onto the fun things’. I still struggle with this... but I’m at a place where I have the rhythm to work on it. Every day here the first 30-45 minutes are spent in prayer, there’s regular worship times, and biblical/self study times as well. But more than anything, the things done here are done from a heart of thanksgiving and worship. From the working to the writing, to the food preparation, to the eating... it’s all done from a different core. Acknowledging God in the simple things. Having him as the baseline for the rhythm. I like this. Now that I’m in this routine and will be for the next few months, I hope and pray that this carries with me when I return home. There’s simply more peace and deeper rest... which affects every other element in a positive way.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Trying
So I’m still trying to break through in a variety of ways. Primarily internal... the feeling of a bunch of sludge dammed up within is leaving me yearning for internal spiritual release. Something I read in Love Wins that keeps coming to mind, is the quote “Winter is the essential prequel to the Growth that spring brings”. I don’t have the book in front of me, so I’m sure the quote is a bit off, but it’s basically grounded in the fact that death is crucial to the process of growth. One must die in order to live. Death of the old in order that new things can spring forth. It’s very biblical... and I’ve acknowledged this truth for quite some time, but I’m not sure I’ve let it affect me the way that I’m supposed to. I’ve died many deaths thus far in my life... although most of them have been somewhat under my own control. I know that Christ is calling for death in me through this chapter in life, but it happens to be the most fearful and unnerving kind. The very core of how I’ve directed my life, my thought process, my sexuality, and the many other small things that those things govern is being called on the carpet. Not that it’s supposed to be an instant ‘bam!’ those things are dead and I can go on living from a different core... but more of an awareness of the need to remain in a constant process of dying. The process is in fact the dying needed itself. It’s a constant conscious release of control and submitting things to God’s will. Another big part of this is beginning the baby steps towards speaking life into myself and to actually own the fact that I’m addicted to speaking death into my own life. It’s such a hard thing to see, because I get some sick and twisted joy in breaking myself down. It’s what I’ve operated in for so long it feels like the only way to do life. The problem is, I’m starting to see that it’s what distances me from people and friendships that God has for me. It’s soaked in pride and comes in a cloak of self preservation. It speaks of independence and self sufficiency to the point of alienation. It owns the lies of worthlessness and weakness... and gives no value outside of performance. And it takes me getting to the point of feeling completely internally alone to realize the truth of the sickness.
SEE! This is the reason I write... If I had not sat down and started ‘word vomiting’, I would have either not come to these conclusions, or I would have disregarded them and blamed them on my ‘over-analytical’ brain. This brings up another ‘trying’ thing for me. I literally had to force myself to sit and write today. For some reason every mental, physical and emotional block continually comes up to prevent me from writing. I need to journal. I have a book that is crucial for me to produce, and yet it feels like mount Everest is standing before me and I need to get to the other side. I feel defeated before I even open my computer. There must be a good purpose behind me writing... cause I’m dealing with a lot of internal opposition.
Gerard, Chrissie and Jake left for Germany today. There is a boarding school that Jake is interested in that they are going to shadow for a couple of days. The girls went into Lisieux to run some errands, so with just Matt, Pixie and myself it’s even quieter than usual. Could be one of the reasons these words are being put into existence. I have been painting, which makes me very happy actually. There is quite a bit of dark brown trim that I’m painting white, and seeing the transformation makes me smile. Monday I will probably start working on the cottage in order to prepare it for Aaron and Holly’s arrival. The cottage is basically what used to be an old storage shed that sits between the main house and the Lacey. It needs to be painted on the inside, the door and attic need to be insulated, and a door closing off the attic needs to be constructed. I am kind of being looked to as the ‘handy-man’... which I don’t mind. I’m glad that I have experience in certain areas where I can be of help. The week after next is Aaron and Holly’s wedding, which I get to go up to England for, and to my delight get to stay a few days with Jon and Steph. I’m very excited about this. Although, I also found out that Bless is being gifted a car while we are up there, so they are actually going to need me to drive the other car from Stourbridge back to Bethanie by myself. Making the hour drive from Caen back to Bethanie won’t be that hard... I did that the other day, it’s just the thought of navigating on the wrong side of the road in England that scares me. Should be interesting.
SEE! This is the reason I write... If I had not sat down and started ‘word vomiting’, I would have either not come to these conclusions, or I would have disregarded them and blamed them on my ‘over-analytical’ brain. This brings up another ‘trying’ thing for me. I literally had to force myself to sit and write today. For some reason every mental, physical and emotional block continually comes up to prevent me from writing. I need to journal. I have a book that is crucial for me to produce, and yet it feels like mount Everest is standing before me and I need to get to the other side. I feel defeated before I even open my computer. There must be a good purpose behind me writing... cause I’m dealing with a lot of internal opposition.
Gerard, Chrissie and Jake left for Germany today. There is a boarding school that Jake is interested in that they are going to shadow for a couple of days. The girls went into Lisieux to run some errands, so with just Matt, Pixie and myself it’s even quieter than usual. Could be one of the reasons these words are being put into existence. I have been painting, which makes me very happy actually. There is quite a bit of dark brown trim that I’m painting white, and seeing the transformation makes me smile. Monday I will probably start working on the cottage in order to prepare it for Aaron and Holly’s arrival. The cottage is basically what used to be an old storage shed that sits between the main house and the Lacey. It needs to be painted on the inside, the door and attic need to be insulated, and a door closing off the attic needs to be constructed. I am kind of being looked to as the ‘handy-man’... which I don’t mind. I’m glad that I have experience in certain areas where I can be of help. The week after next is Aaron and Holly’s wedding, which I get to go up to England for, and to my delight get to stay a few days with Jon and Steph. I’m very excited about this. Although, I also found out that Bless is being gifted a car while we are up there, so they are actually going to need me to drive the other car from Stourbridge back to Bethanie by myself. Making the hour drive from Caen back to Bethanie won’t be that hard... I did that the other day, it’s just the thought of navigating on the wrong side of the road in England that scares me. Should be interesting.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Quiet morning
So it’s Saturday morning. Quiet, calm and good space to reflect. One of the truly marvelous things about this place. I’m at the point where I’m trying to figure out where I’m at internally... which is a process. I need to let the distractions and voices in my head calm so that I can focus on what God might be trying to speak during this time, which sometimes feels like a battle. Why am I here? What does God want to accomplish in me over the next few months? Of course my brain wants answers to these questions well before the time it will take to actually get there. The place I’m at is good... the dust within is beginning to settle and my soul is quieting. So I guess that’s all I can ask for at this point. A blank page emerging in order for God to write into me.
Last night was great. We had a barbecue outside with great food and conversation, and then discovered that there is a well on the property beneath a blackberry bramble. We all got involved in uncovering it, to discover that it is quite functional with a great deal of decent water at the bottom. So the plan is to get a pump attached so that garden and yard irrigation can come from that in order to cut back on the water bill. A rather cool moment if I do say so.
I chatted with Natalie for awhile last night, and I must say that I do miss her. It’s amazing to me how valuable it is to have someone near that knows me and my story as well as she does. People at Bless will begin to know me and my story, but that does take a decent amount of time, so right now I feel a little alone in certain ways. I really like it when people know and understand me. So that’s probably what I need to focus on in the next week or so. Well, my battery is yet again in the red, so I will finish here, but will try to write more soon.
Last night was great. We had a barbecue outside with great food and conversation, and then discovered that there is a well on the property beneath a blackberry bramble. We all got involved in uncovering it, to discover that it is quite functional with a great deal of decent water at the bottom. So the plan is to get a pump attached so that garden and yard irrigation can come from that in order to cut back on the water bill. A rather cool moment if I do say so.
I chatted with Natalie for awhile last night, and I must say that I do miss her. It’s amazing to me how valuable it is to have someone near that knows me and my story as well as she does. People at Bless will begin to know me and my story, but that does take a decent amount of time, so right now I feel a little alone in certain ways. I really like it when people know and understand me. So that’s probably what I need to focus on in the next week or so. Well, my battery is yet again in the red, so I will finish here, but will try to write more soon.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Day one
Ahh. I just got done pulling some weeds. And I get to mow later :D This may sound trivial, painful even... but in my world nothing is better than doing yard work for the first time of the year. There is a lot of mowing really... 5 hours worth, or so I’ve been told by Gerard. It’s about an acre of grass and is completed by a small push mower, so that sounds about right.
I am quite rested. Got 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep in a very dark room. I have my own room actually... about as big as a large walk in closet, but it’s perfect and I’m very glad to have my own space, as there is always people coming and going here at Bethanie. All of the rooms on the top floor of the house have vaulted ceilings and skylight type windows that open and have blackout shades. Someday I would like to have windows like these. They are amazing.
The weather is quite nice here. 75 and sunny today and I am in shorts and a t-shirt :) It’s evidently been a very warm spring here so far... almost summer like. But with the lack of any decent spring weather back home, I’m not complaining in the slightest. Well, lunch is on and I have to get some food to the chickens.
I am quite rested. Got 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep in a very dark room. I have my own room actually... about as big as a large walk in closet, but it’s perfect and I’m very glad to have my own space, as there is always people coming and going here at Bethanie. All of the rooms on the top floor of the house have vaulted ceilings and skylight type windows that open and have blackout shades. Someday I would like to have windows like these. They are amazing.
The weather is quite nice here. 75 and sunny today and I am in shorts and a t-shirt :) It’s evidently been a very warm spring here so far... almost summer like. But with the lack of any decent spring weather back home, I’m not complaining in the slightest. Well, lunch is on and I have to get some food to the chickens.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Lisieux... for a second time.
So I was thinking on my flight to France that I probably should start blogging again, if for nothing else, to keep with the tradition of recording my time away from Spokane. I am effing exhausted. I just spent 22 hours traveling, and have been awake for 26 hours. And I still have at least two hours left before I will let myself go to bed. Ugh. But I’m here... and that’s the important part. The Dramamine I took did make me intensely sleepy, but it wasn’t enough to cause me to actually sleep. Instead I just kept my eyes shut and rested a lot... which was better than nothing I guess.
It was crazy to me how as I walked up to the gate in Dallas and started hearing people converse in French, I couldn’t help but smile and feel oddly at home. I can’t quite explain the connection i feel with France really... but as I’ve been through Paris and arrived in Lisieux, I still have that warm familiar feeling that a part of me belongs here. Exactly the same as how I felt about arriving here last year... and I have been wondering for the last few weeks if it would be the same. Anywhoo... seeing as how my batterie is almost dead and my brain’s not too far behind, I’m going to end here. But this is me attempting to promise myself to resurrect Journey of Matter... we will see how it goes.
It was crazy to me how as I walked up to the gate in Dallas and started hearing people converse in French, I couldn’t help but smile and feel oddly at home. I can’t quite explain the connection i feel with France really... but as I’ve been through Paris and arrived in Lisieux, I still have that warm familiar feeling that a part of me belongs here. Exactly the same as how I felt about arriving here last year... and I have been wondering for the last few weeks if it would be the same. Anywhoo... seeing as how my batterie is almost dead and my brain’s not too far behind, I’m going to end here. But this is me attempting to promise myself to resurrect Journey of Matter... we will see how it goes.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Minneapolis... again.
Sitting in my cousin Rachel’s kitchen, I can’t help but think that tomorrow I start the last traveling leg of my journey. I will be home in a matter of days, and back to the familiar. Mom and dad are moving back to the country house... which will definitely be different. I hope and pray that God will reveal the reason for the house not selling soon. The whole process of being inbetween two homes has been stressful on them, and therefore stressful on the whole family. I wonder if underlying rifts between family members will ever be resolved... maybe them being back out there will be a catalyst for needed communication. Who knows. One thing I’ve been noticing more than ever in recent days, is that all families have serious issues... everyone parents differently... all parents are flawed... and all children are a product of their parents flaws. Looking at the Sheild side of the family in contrast to the Hanson side, both have just as many issues... they are just in different forms and are dealt with (or not dealt with) in different ways. It’s easier for me to focus on the negatives that have come from both sides, but as I’ve had time to dwell on things, I’m trying to replace those with the good that has been past on. Facing the nearness of loosing the generation that raised my parents is hard for me to swollow. As I watch their decline in mental and physical health, I can only think that they simply did the best that they could given their surroundings and upbringings. They passed on generational blessings and curses, and ultimately it’s up to us to acknowledge this and respond to it accordingly. What I mean is, we have the power to change how we view our defining story. While there is nothing I can do to change my upbringing or that of my parents, I can ultimately choose the lens through which I view these situations, and I strongly believe that viewing things differently is the first step to overcoming generational pitfalls. God has helped in the changing of my lens, because I’m starting to realize how he views us is how he wants us to view others, and unfortunately many people (including myself) struggle with a distorted image of how God views them. Realizing that God sees us as beautiful, and accepting his grace and mercy in every area of our weakness is key. Also knowing that through Jesus, we are blameless before God. For me at least, this has been the first step in viewing others through a different lens. Thus concludes my two cents for the day.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Part 2
I had to do something else with my time. The effort to sleep proved futile, the in flight entertainment system has crashed twice, and I haven’t had the energy to attempt any reading. Not that reading takes much energy, but certain books definitely feel like a work out for the brain. I’m not even sure I have the energy to continue where I left off in France... I just needed to write. The flight is full and contains many children under the age of 8, and many of them seem to have lost patience with this flight. Most of them happen to be seated in my general vicinity as well. Thank God for iPods.
So back in France, I was arriving at Bethanie. Now Bethanie mind you, is the name of the farm where the Bless Network is located, not the town. The nearest town is Livarot, and the nearest city where we also did most of our outreach, is Lisieux. Driving through the countryside to Bethanie was very picturesque. The sun was setting, casting a glow on everything, and there were old stucco and brick farm houses scattered amidst the fields and vineyards. About every 10 minutes of driving, we would past through a little village with crooked roads and buildings right up to the road. Amazing.
So the first day or two I was really in my shell... I amaze myself at how shy and reserved I can be in new surroundings. The first few days, however, were solely focused on building us up as a team and just getting us to let our walls down... which ended up being quite effective. It’s really just a hard thing to put into words what that time was like. I guess when you go through something like this, it’s like this little but impactful blip on the radar that can best be described as internal fault lines shifting. That might not make sense... but it does in my head, and that’s what matters.
So moving on. After the first week at Bethanie, I had almost no desire to continue on traveling. Then main reason being that it suddenly felt empty to me. I was going to be a tourist and take pictures and see the sights... but the main goal was to simply say that I’ve ‘been’ there. Relationship had become more a priority, causing the desire to ‘tour’ fade in the distance.
I can say that I actually got to experience France, not just tour it, and by experience I mean to see the ins and outs of lives, and live along with the people. That was the substance that I needed... and I didn’t want to leave.
Hmm... on that note, I am finishing this at O’hare airport, and my flight boards in 20 minutes, so I better pay my bill and get moving. Ooo... only two hours until I see Franke :) Continued next time...
So back in France, I was arriving at Bethanie. Now Bethanie mind you, is the name of the farm where the Bless Network is located, not the town. The nearest town is Livarot, and the nearest city where we also did most of our outreach, is Lisieux. Driving through the countryside to Bethanie was very picturesque. The sun was setting, casting a glow on everything, and there were old stucco and brick farm houses scattered amidst the fields and vineyards. About every 10 minutes of driving, we would past through a little village with crooked roads and buildings right up to the road. Amazing.
So the first day or two I was really in my shell... I amaze myself at how shy and reserved I can be in new surroundings. The first few days, however, were solely focused on building us up as a team and just getting us to let our walls down... which ended up being quite effective. It’s really just a hard thing to put into words what that time was like. I guess when you go through something like this, it’s like this little but impactful blip on the radar that can best be described as internal fault lines shifting. That might not make sense... but it does in my head, and that’s what matters.
So moving on. After the first week at Bethanie, I had almost no desire to continue on traveling. Then main reason being that it suddenly felt empty to me. I was going to be a tourist and take pictures and see the sights... but the main goal was to simply say that I’ve ‘been’ there. Relationship had become more a priority, causing the desire to ‘tour’ fade in the distance.
I can say that I actually got to experience France, not just tour it, and by experience I mean to see the ins and outs of lives, and live along with the people. That was the substance that I needed... and I didn’t want to leave.
Hmm... on that note, I am finishing this at O’hare airport, and my flight boards in 20 minutes, so I better pay my bill and get moving. Ooo... only two hours until I see Franke :) Continued next time...
Dublin... again.
Well here I sit at the Dublin airport 7 weeks after the first time. It’s crazy to think that it’s been that long already. This chapter of my life has been an interesting one to say the least. There’s way more than I could probably put into words, but I at least have to recap so that I can look back on this with as much information as possible.
So flashback to 7 weeks ago... I was doing the same thing I am now... drinking a Bulmers cider and blogging, but then the whole time thing happened, and things are a bit different on this end. I had no idea what to expect of this leg of the journey, and looking back on it, I got more and less than what I expected. The first six days were spent with Steph and Jon, just adapting to the time change and cultural differences. The weather was warm and sunny, and I was a little bit freaked out about traveling by myself in Europe. I honestly didn’t even think about the mission in France much, but more on what was after France. I was anticipating and looking forward to seeing different cities, taking trains, taking pictures, and all of the touristy type stuff that laid out before me. The picture in my head of the Bless mission was blank... I had no expectations and no previous experience as a guideline. I guess if you made me describe what my expectations were, they would have been pretty black and white and in the stereotypical christian missionary form. Not that stereotypical christian missionaries are bad, but I think that I had walls up and pre-judgements before I even flew to Europe. Then after a six hour ride on the ferry, we pulled into the port at Caen France. I can’t quite describe what I felt, but I get chills just thinking about that moment. There was a child like joy and giddiness that came over me as we drove off the boat, and looking around at the signs and buildings I all of the sudden felt oddly at home. It was as if a part of me that had never found it’s resting place finally had rest. At that point I think that my expectations were turned upside down. I suddenly knew that there was purpose in me being there and it was going to be a far cry from the black and white image I had in my head.
This concludes part one of this insert, as I have just enough time to pee, have a cigarette and get to my boarding gate. To be continued...`
So flashback to 7 weeks ago... I was doing the same thing I am now... drinking a Bulmers cider and blogging, but then the whole time thing happened, and things are a bit different on this end. I had no idea what to expect of this leg of the journey, and looking back on it, I got more and less than what I expected. The first six days were spent with Steph and Jon, just adapting to the time change and cultural differences. The weather was warm and sunny, and I was a little bit freaked out about traveling by myself in Europe. I honestly didn’t even think about the mission in France much, but more on what was after France. I was anticipating and looking forward to seeing different cities, taking trains, taking pictures, and all of the touristy type stuff that laid out before me. The picture in my head of the Bless mission was blank... I had no expectations and no previous experience as a guideline. I guess if you made me describe what my expectations were, they would have been pretty black and white and in the stereotypical christian missionary form. Not that stereotypical christian missionaries are bad, but I think that I had walls up and pre-judgements before I even flew to Europe. Then after a six hour ride on the ferry, we pulled into the port at Caen France. I can’t quite describe what I felt, but I get chills just thinking about that moment. There was a child like joy and giddiness that came over me as we drove off the boat, and looking around at the signs and buildings I all of the sudden felt oddly at home. It was as if a part of me that had never found it’s resting place finally had rest. At that point I think that my expectations were turned upside down. I suddenly knew that there was purpose in me being there and it was going to be a far cry from the black and white image I had in my head.
This concludes part one of this insert, as I have just enough time to pee, have a cigarette and get to my boarding gate. To be continued...`
Friday, August 13, 2010
Rainy cloudy blah
Another grey day... Eff. You don’t really realize how much you take sunny warm summers for granted until you spend time in a place where they don’t exist. It’s August, and the weather here is comparable to spring in Seattle or Portland. No wonder the natives here don’t smile much. Today is borderline cold... like sweater and jeans cold. Mixed with the damp, it permeates to the bone making a hot bath sound like heaven... or to wash the dishes just to warm my hands. It’s Norah Jones weather I think... because in my little world Norah is condusive to hot drinks, blankets, cuddling and the like. She’s a fall playing into winter sound that seems to calm the inside while one looks out upon cold and bleak.
Speaking of cold and bleak, that’s what my blog page has been looking like with the absence of my writings... and I could apologize, but I won’t, cause there’s nothing I can do to change the lack over the last weeks. I’m writing now, and that’s what matters. I have only 5 days until I fly back to the states, and I have no idea how I will feel once I arrive. I am a little excited and a little sad at the same time. Excited to see Franke and know that I still have a 1400 mile journey remaining, but sad to think that the 1400 miles will be the final stretch of my summer of madness. I was going to say Journey of Matter there... but I know that my Journey of Matter is far from over. It’s only just begun actually, because I will probably look at life from a bit of a different perspective because of the last several months. No matter what the future holds, I will smile because God has given me the gift of this chapter in my life. He has grown me, challenged me, met with me and broken down with me. I would be nothing without him, my journey would be empty without him and I will forever give him the glory for the perfectly and beautifully broken path that I walk in this life.
Speaking of cold and bleak, that’s what my blog page has been looking like with the absence of my writings... and I could apologize, but I won’t, cause there’s nothing I can do to change the lack over the last weeks. I’m writing now, and that’s what matters. I have only 5 days until I fly back to the states, and I have no idea how I will feel once I arrive. I am a little excited and a little sad at the same time. Excited to see Franke and know that I still have a 1400 mile journey remaining, but sad to think that the 1400 miles will be the final stretch of my summer of madness. I was going to say Journey of Matter there... but I know that my Journey of Matter is far from over. It’s only just begun actually, because I will probably look at life from a bit of a different perspective because of the last several months. No matter what the future holds, I will smile because God has given me the gift of this chapter in my life. He has grown me, challenged me, met with me and broken down with me. I would be nothing without him, my journey would be empty without him and I will forever give him the glory for the perfectly and beautifully broken path that I walk in this life.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Back in Stourbridge
Here I am. Back from traveling europe... and I didn’t travel nearly as much as I had planned. I came back here early for two reasons: Wanting to figure out if it was possible to stay in France for a year, and coming to the realization that traveling just for the sake of traveling is rather empty. Relationship and community is what really makes the world go round, so when I looked at visiting all these different places, all I could see is being a tourist and taking pictures and spending money.
I am kind of missing traveling though... I’ve only been back here for a couple of days and I’m already longing for some new adventure.
After spending a day doing research, I have pretty much concluded that either I stay here and slightly bend the law a bit risking deportation, or I go back home and start from scratch doing it the legal way. Unlike the UK, France doesn’t have a volunteer visa, which really sucks. Wanting to reside in France for a year requires a long stay visa for a non professional. There is a laundry list of requirements and paperwork, and it has to be applied for in person, and in your country of residence. As much as I would love to just stay here and continue on with Bless, I think that doing it the right way is important. Besides, it’s probably not a bad idea to get Franke back to Spokane.
I definitely feel that spending a year with Bless will hold a lot of benefit for me, and I really think that it will open doors to other mission work and hopefully the ability to share my story with others. This trip over here is just the beginning I feel... and that makes me smile. I can’t wait to see what God has in store for the next chapter. I still need lots of prayer, as I still have to make it home (hopefully without breaking down) and I still have to go through the process of getting the visa... which will take a lot of patience, as well as having to fly to San Francisco to present my case to the French consulate. I’m up for it though, cause it really feels like God’s hand is behind it, and if this is where I need to go and what I need to do, then I know that things will fall into place.
I am kind of missing traveling though... I’ve only been back here for a couple of days and I’m already longing for some new adventure.
After spending a day doing research, I have pretty much concluded that either I stay here and slightly bend the law a bit risking deportation, or I go back home and start from scratch doing it the legal way. Unlike the UK, France doesn’t have a volunteer visa, which really sucks. Wanting to reside in France for a year requires a long stay visa for a non professional. There is a laundry list of requirements and paperwork, and it has to be applied for in person, and in your country of residence. As much as I would love to just stay here and continue on with Bless, I think that doing it the right way is important. Besides, it’s probably not a bad idea to get Franke back to Spokane.
I definitely feel that spending a year with Bless will hold a lot of benefit for me, and I really think that it will open doors to other mission work and hopefully the ability to share my story with others. This trip over here is just the beginning I feel... and that makes me smile. I can’t wait to see what God has in store for the next chapter. I still need lots of prayer, as I still have to make it home (hopefully without breaking down) and I still have to go through the process of getting the visa... which will take a lot of patience, as well as having to fly to San Francisco to present my case to the French consulate. I’m up for it though, cause it really feels like God’s hand is behind it, and if this is where I need to go and what I need to do, then I know that things will fall into place.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Napoli
Oh my FREAKING HOT. I really hope that its not going to be like this the rest of my time here. It is the kind of hot that paralyzes and prevents you from doing anything. Just walking around downtown this morning drained me, so here I sit, drenched in sweat wondering how to make the most of sightseeing in this heat. It's 37 degrees celcius, which is about 100 farenheit, and it is so humid that your clothes stick to you immediately after putting them on. Gross.
It's been awhile since I've blogged anything, so let's see... where did I leave off... oh yes, sitting in the Lacy on Rinke's computer contemplating staying in France for a year. I am still contemplating that, but have actually moved on to seeing if it can work, which involves getting a temporary visa and seeing if I will be able to change my return flight. "Yes, ma'am I would like to change my return flight from two weeks from now to a year from now" ... "no, no I swear I'm not crazy." I can't wait to see how that conversation is going to go.
So before I left the mission, I got an email from my uncles friend Christine in Paris, stating that she would love to have me stay. At first I was mostly exstatic at the thought of saving the 140 dollars that I would have spent on a hostel, but in the end I was blown away by her hospitality, and truely have a new friend in Paris. She took the time to actually meet me at the train station, show me around to places that not all the tourists go, explain all of the public transportation systems and how to navigate them, and on top of it cook for me every night and make me coffee and toast every morning! She was AMAZING. Plus we had many good conversations and some good laughs, and she helped me expand on my French a little. I couldn't have asked for more.
So on the day that I was supposed to leave, I woke up to an email titled "Flight cancellation" I was informed that because of a workers strike at the Orly airport, my flight no longer existed. So I went through all the hoops to see if I could change flights, and the soonest one that I found was for 3 days later, so I went ahead and opted to have the money refunded. Before searching for alterior ways to get to Napoli, I seriously considered just cancelling it all together, but after finding out that my flight out of Napoli was non-refundable, I reconsidered. So I ended up finding a bus ticket for the same price as what I paid for the flight... the only downside being spending 24 hours on a bus. According to the man on the phone, there was a few seats left on one leaving that night, so I paid and started packing. I said my goodbyes and took the 45 minute tube ride across town to the bus terminal, where the lady behind the counter politely informed me that there was no bus leaving for Napoli, and that I was booked for one the following night. So I ended up getting another day in Paris, but actually lost a day due to having to rearrange everything. So the next day we went for a long walk and saw a few more sights that I hadn't seen before we said our goodbyes for the second time.
The bus ride was not the most fun experience in the world, and it ended up being 26 hours due to a connecting bus being late. I didn't sleep at all, and I was too tired and grumpy to appreciate the countryside as we were passing it. However, I can now say that I've been to Milan, Parma, Balogna, Florence, and Rome... even if it was just for a few minutes at the bus station :) By the time I got off the bus and walked the 2.5 km to the hostel with a 50 pound pack on, I was officially dead. But not dead enough to not want a beer, so I went with a fellow Hostel mate to a local outdoor bar and had probably the best beer of my life. So now I'm updated for the most part... YAY. And I'm happy to have a new friend from Taiwan, and one from Hong Kong. PEACE.
It's been awhile since I've blogged anything, so let's see... where did I leave off... oh yes, sitting in the Lacy on Rinke's computer contemplating staying in France for a year. I am still contemplating that, but have actually moved on to seeing if it can work, which involves getting a temporary visa and seeing if I will be able to change my return flight. "Yes, ma'am I would like to change my return flight from two weeks from now to a year from now" ... "no, no I swear I'm not crazy." I can't wait to see how that conversation is going to go.
So before I left the mission, I got an email from my uncles friend Christine in Paris, stating that she would love to have me stay. At first I was mostly exstatic at the thought of saving the 140 dollars that I would have spent on a hostel, but in the end I was blown away by her hospitality, and truely have a new friend in Paris. She took the time to actually meet me at the train station, show me around to places that not all the tourists go, explain all of the public transportation systems and how to navigate them, and on top of it cook for me every night and make me coffee and toast every morning! She was AMAZING. Plus we had many good conversations and some good laughs, and she helped me expand on my French a little. I couldn't have asked for more.
So on the day that I was supposed to leave, I woke up to an email titled "Flight cancellation" I was informed that because of a workers strike at the Orly airport, my flight no longer existed. So I went through all the hoops to see if I could change flights, and the soonest one that I found was for 3 days later, so I went ahead and opted to have the money refunded. Before searching for alterior ways to get to Napoli, I seriously considered just cancelling it all together, but after finding out that my flight out of Napoli was non-refundable, I reconsidered. So I ended up finding a bus ticket for the same price as what I paid for the flight... the only downside being spending 24 hours on a bus. According to the man on the phone, there was a few seats left on one leaving that night, so I paid and started packing. I said my goodbyes and took the 45 minute tube ride across town to the bus terminal, where the lady behind the counter politely informed me that there was no bus leaving for Napoli, and that I was booked for one the following night. So I ended up getting another day in Paris, but actually lost a day due to having to rearrange everything. So the next day we went for a long walk and saw a few more sights that I hadn't seen before we said our goodbyes for the second time.
The bus ride was not the most fun experience in the world, and it ended up being 26 hours due to a connecting bus being late. I didn't sleep at all, and I was too tired and grumpy to appreciate the countryside as we were passing it. However, I can now say that I've been to Milan, Parma, Balogna, Florence, and Rome... even if it was just for a few minutes at the bus station :) By the time I got off the bus and walked the 2.5 km to the hostel with a 50 pound pack on, I was officially dead. But not dead enough to not want a beer, so I went with a fellow Hostel mate to a local outdoor bar and had probably the best beer of my life. So now I'm updated for the most part... YAY. And I'm happy to have a new friend from Taiwan, and one from Hong Kong. PEACE.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Bethanie, Livarot and Lisieux.
I really wish that I had the time to write a small book here, because the last two weeks are deserving of one, but I figured at least a little is better than nothing. First off, France is beautiful. The architecture and landscape here are both amazing. It blows my mind that homes from the 16th and 17th century were built so well that most of them are still standing. It also makes me wonder how all of the sub-divisions in the states will be holding up in the next hundred or so years. Bethanie is a farm situated off of a narrow country road just a few minutes outside of the village of Livarot. It was originally a huge estate with the main manor about a mile away from the outbuildings. At some point in the mid 1800's the land was divided, and a new brick farm house was built right next to the existing outbuildings. The age of the outbuildings is unknown, but most likely 80-100 years older than the home. It's an area so thick with history it makes my head spin. Bethanie is a very special placed... a very blessed place.
13 days ago when the ferry was pulling into the harbor in Caen, something felt strangely familiar to me. It's hard to explain, but I felt something fall into place inside of me, like me being here was always meant to happen. Like I was somehow wired for this point and place in my life. This is going to sound crazy, but I feel like I was born with this inner connection to France, and being here has brought that to life in me. Needless to say, it's been amazing being here. We have been able to bless and love kids in need in the poor areas of Lisieux, but more than that, this mission has been about the inside of me and so much more. I can't even explain without writing a book, but it's all good things. God is rearranging things inside of me, and I'm looking at life through a totally different lens right now. I am not the same person that I was when I left home... but God's not nearly done with me yet. I'm being called even more out of my comfort zone, but I think it's something that I'm finally getting used to. Those of you reading this, please pray for me... I'm really feeling called to this area and I'm thinking about cashing in my plane ticket and staying on with Bless for the next year. I really need prayers and support at this point, because I will be making a decision within the next couple of weeks. I have also decided not to visit all of the places that I was planning on, because tourism with the purpose of being able to say "I've been there" doesn't hold much value to me anymore. I want to LIVE, not simply visit. I want God's PURPOSE, and not just pictures. Crazy how priorities keep on changing :)
I will still be going on to Paris and Naples, as they have already been booked and paid for, but from there I just need time to think and seek God, so I have no real direction... just a goal not to spend much money. I can't believe how much calm I feel inside right now despite all of the unknowns... I'm learning to love life in such a new and different way.
To all of my friends and family both new and old, thank you for your prayers and support. Words can't describe the love I feel for you in my heart. God is good.
13 days ago when the ferry was pulling into the harbor in Caen, something felt strangely familiar to me. It's hard to explain, but I felt something fall into place inside of me, like me being here was always meant to happen. Like I was somehow wired for this point and place in my life. This is going to sound crazy, but I feel like I was born with this inner connection to France, and being here has brought that to life in me. Needless to say, it's been amazing being here. We have been able to bless and love kids in need in the poor areas of Lisieux, but more than that, this mission has been about the inside of me and so much more. I can't even explain without writing a book, but it's all good things. God is rearranging things inside of me, and I'm looking at life through a totally different lens right now. I am not the same person that I was when I left home... but God's not nearly done with me yet. I'm being called even more out of my comfort zone, but I think it's something that I'm finally getting used to. Those of you reading this, please pray for me... I'm really feeling called to this area and I'm thinking about cashing in my plane ticket and staying on with Bless for the next year. I really need prayers and support at this point, because I will be making a decision within the next couple of weeks. I have also decided not to visit all of the places that I was planning on, because tourism with the purpose of being able to say "I've been there" doesn't hold much value to me anymore. I want to LIVE, not simply visit. I want God's PURPOSE, and not just pictures. Crazy how priorities keep on changing :)
I will still be going on to Paris and Naples, as they have already been booked and paid for, but from there I just need time to think and seek God, so I have no real direction... just a goal not to spend much money. I can't believe how much calm I feel inside right now despite all of the unknowns... I'm learning to love life in such a new and different way.
To all of my friends and family both new and old, thank you for your prayers and support. Words can't describe the love I feel for you in my heart. God is good.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Diving off
Tomorrow I dive off into Europe, and I’m tired sore and nervous. Don’t get me wrong, I am excited, but there’s so much out of my control. I’ve begun to stress about finances... I know I’ll be okay, but just like in the states, I’m sure I’ll go through more money than I planned. I slept horrible last night. Tossing and turning with a million and one questions rolling around in my head. I leave tomorrow morning and won’t be returning to Steph and Jon’s until a month from now. I’ve booked until Florence, and I’m not sure I dare book further at this point. I’m quite disappointed in couchsurfers.org... I was really excited about the possibility of staying in someone’s home for free vs. a hostel, but out of all the requests and emails I’ve sent, all have come back with a decline. So hostel’s it is. Paris is booked, Naples is booked, and I know how I’m getting to Florence, but I’m not quite sure where I’m staying yet.
It’s mentally and emotionally taxing trying to figure this all out. I mean, I won’t have my computer, so I’m having to do my research now to figure out what trains/busses and connections I need to get to where I’m going, and then walking directions from there, trying to remember to write down all the pertenant information in my journal.
The mission trip in France should be interesting... staying in a home with lot’s of other christians, not having a room to myself, and not being able to smoke or drink... for two weeks. I’m not quite sure how I’m going to handle this, but I’m sure that I will need a lot of prayer for grace and patience. Hopefully I won’t snap at any point.
Anyway, Jon’s parents are on there way over for curry and to chat about their holiday in Crete, so I’m off for now, and I’m not sure when I will be able to write next... for all I know it could be a matter of weeks, but my hostel in Paris has an internet cafe, so I will be able to write then. To all my family, friends back home, and friends I’ve met along the way, I love you, and big hugs.
It’s mentally and emotionally taxing trying to figure this all out. I mean, I won’t have my computer, so I’m having to do my research now to figure out what trains/busses and connections I need to get to where I’m going, and then walking directions from there, trying to remember to write down all the pertenant information in my journal.
The mission trip in France should be interesting... staying in a home with lot’s of other christians, not having a room to myself, and not being able to smoke or drink... for two weeks. I’m not quite sure how I’m going to handle this, but I’m sure that I will need a lot of prayer for grace and patience. Hopefully I won’t snap at any point.
Anyway, Jon’s parents are on there way over for curry and to chat about their holiday in Crete, so I’m off for now, and I’m not sure when I will be able to write next... for all I know it could be a matter of weeks, but my hostel in Paris has an internet cafe, so I will be able to write then. To all my family, friends back home, and friends I’ve met along the way, I love you, and big hugs.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Birmingham
Steph and I rode the train to Birmingham today! It pretty much rocked. It’s a really nice town actually... and the shopping center there is awesome! We had Starbucks, and I was given a total dumbfounded look by the girl when I ordered my americano :) I could tell they had never had an order that specific... it was a very proud moment for me.
In the mall there was a place called South-something... anyway, and they have a shopping section that is specifically specialty foods that can only be bought in the States. I coudn’t believe how much some of it costs. A box of Lucky Charms was 7 quid 49 pence which is over ten bucks! Shocking. It’s not just american stuff though, EVERYTHING here costs more. Fuel, taxes, groceries, and the list goes on.
I’ve been like a kid in a candy store looking at all the different cars :) So many different makes and models it’s making my head spin! Not only that, but at least half the cars are diesels... which makes sense with the high fuel costs, but I never knew that Honda made a diesel! I walked past a Chrysler minivan today and smiled to see a vehicle that I recognized... and it was a diesel! Really? A diesel Chrysler? There has never been such a thing in the States. I know American cars like the back of my hand, and it’s really weird being so out of my ‘automobile element’.
Anywhoo, I’m tired and need to get to sleep, but I just wanted to jot a few notes on my day. Oh yea, Steph made thai green curry for dinner, and it was AMAZING. Then we sat around and had some great conversation :) Good day.
In the mall there was a place called South-something... anyway, and they have a shopping section that is specifically specialty foods that can only be bought in the States. I coudn’t believe how much some of it costs. A box of Lucky Charms was 7 quid 49 pence which is over ten bucks! Shocking. It’s not just american stuff though, EVERYTHING here costs more. Fuel, taxes, groceries, and the list goes on.
I’ve been like a kid in a candy store looking at all the different cars :) So many different makes and models it’s making my head spin! Not only that, but at least half the cars are diesels... which makes sense with the high fuel costs, but I never knew that Honda made a diesel! I walked past a Chrysler minivan today and smiled to see a vehicle that I recognized... and it was a diesel! Really? A diesel Chrysler? There has never been such a thing in the States. I know American cars like the back of my hand, and it’s really weird being so out of my ‘automobile element’.
Anywhoo, I’m tired and need to get to sleep, but I just wanted to jot a few notes on my day. Oh yea, Steph made thai green curry for dinner, and it was AMAZING. Then we sat around and had some great conversation :) Good day.
Monday, June 28, 2010
First day
Today has been good. I’ve spent it with Steph at the church office doing online stuff while she works. The weather here is very unusual for England... sunny and 80 degrees. I think I brought it with me :)
I’ve been doing research for my travels once the mission trip in France is over, and I’m starting to realize that it’s not all that cheap getting from place to place. Surprisingly, my best bet is to fly instead of taking the train. Train travel is the most popular with tourists in order to see the countryside, so it’s averaging about 25% more in cost vs. air travel. My plan at this point is to take the train from Bethanie to Paris, where Steph and Jon might meet up with me for a couple of days, then I will fly from there to Naples, Italy. I will probably couch surf while in Naples, and I have already contacted an American that lives there to set that up... now let’s hope that he agrees to let me crash there for 4 days!
I will be taking the bus from Naples to Florence, which costs $35 vs. $105 for the train. I’m probably going to bus from there into Rome and then fly to Prague... at least that’s the thought for now.
Anyway, I just wanted to jot a few things down before heading to the park to play football with some guys from the church. Haha! Me? Football? LOL! It sounds funny just saying it being the anti-sport type that I am. I just like the thought of being in a park. I’ll probably just sit and watch :)
I’ve been doing research for my travels once the mission trip in France is over, and I’m starting to realize that it’s not all that cheap getting from place to place. Surprisingly, my best bet is to fly instead of taking the train. Train travel is the most popular with tourists in order to see the countryside, so it’s averaging about 25% more in cost vs. air travel. My plan at this point is to take the train from Bethanie to Paris, where Steph and Jon might meet up with me for a couple of days, then I will fly from there to Naples, Italy. I will probably couch surf while in Naples, and I have already contacted an American that lives there to set that up... now let’s hope that he agrees to let me crash there for 4 days!
I will be taking the bus from Naples to Florence, which costs $35 vs. $105 for the train. I’m probably going to bus from there into Rome and then fly to Prague... at least that’s the thought for now.
Anyway, I just wanted to jot a few things down before heading to the park to play football with some guys from the church. Haha! Me? Football? LOL! It sounds funny just saying it being the anti-sport type that I am. I just like the thought of being in a park. I’ll probably just sit and watch :)
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Dublin
I am in Dublin Ireland. It looked really cool from the sky... to bad I don’t get to see more of it. The fields were like a big green patchwork quilt stretching out as far as the eye could see, but alas, I am stuck in the airport for the next four hours awaiting my flight to Birmingham. This airport is a little different than what I’m used to. It felt like I was making my way through an outdated high school through narrow hallways and makeshift pass-throughs until I went through security, then it magically turned into a huge shopping mall with designer stores everywhere. I am currently sitting in a rooftop patio bar having a Bulmers cider and a Marlboro and wondering how slow the next few hours is going to go.
The flight was good. We landed 35 minutes early actually. Total flight time was about six and a half hours, and there was plenty of entertainment, with individual TV’s and a slew of movie, gaming and music options. I wish that I had been able to sleep, but seeing as how there was only about an hour of darkness, it was rather hard. We took off at 6:15 PM Chicago time, and landed at 7:15 AM, and somehow flew right along the edge where the sunset and sunrise collide, so needless to say, I’m all messed up. My body is saying what the hell are you doing still up? It’s 3:30 AM! Ugh. I can already tell this is going to be a long day.
Airports are of great intrigue to me... all of these people’s lives and paths colliding in a whirlwind of craziness, but everyone shares a common thread... we’re all going somewhere important. Whether it’s going to see loved ones, leaving loved ones, starting a new adventure or leaving one. There is an unexplainable anticipation that lingers in all airports, kind of an unseen thickness of mixed emotions caught up in the common flow of lives seeking love, purpose, and adventure. So many differences, and yet so many similarities. I love it.
The flight was good. We landed 35 minutes early actually. Total flight time was about six and a half hours, and there was plenty of entertainment, with individual TV’s and a slew of movie, gaming and music options. I wish that I had been able to sleep, but seeing as how there was only about an hour of darkness, it was rather hard. We took off at 6:15 PM Chicago time, and landed at 7:15 AM, and somehow flew right along the edge where the sunset and sunrise collide, so needless to say, I’m all messed up. My body is saying what the hell are you doing still up? It’s 3:30 AM! Ugh. I can already tell this is going to be a long day.
Airports are of great intrigue to me... all of these people’s lives and paths colliding in a whirlwind of craziness, but everyone shares a common thread... we’re all going somewhere important. Whether it’s going to see loved ones, leaving loved ones, starting a new adventure or leaving one. There is an unexplainable anticipation that lingers in all airports, kind of an unseen thickness of mixed emotions caught up in the common flow of lives seeking love, purpose, and adventure. So many differences, and yet so many similarities. I love it.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Omg... I leave tomorrow! I have my rental car, I'm mostly packed and I'm a ball of nervous energy. Once I get on the plane, my phone is getting shut off and will not be on again until august 19th... Sad day, but probably a good thing. I am venturing even more out of my control... Here I at least have my own transportation, lots of communication methods, and everyone speaks my language. I am going totally into the unknown with no comfort blanket. This is totally new to me and I'm quite frankly scared sh**less. I'm sure there is a lot more growth in store though, which is always good :). Bring it on.
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