Minneapolis... again.

Sitting in my cousin Rachel’s kitchen, I can’t help but think that tomorrow I start the last traveling leg of my journey. I will be home in a matter of days, and back to the familiar. Mom and dad are moving back to the country house... which will definitely be different. I hope and pray that God will reveal the reason for the house not selling soon. The whole process of being inbetween two homes has been stressful on them, and therefore stressful on the whole family. I wonder if underlying rifts between family members will ever be resolved... maybe them being back out there will be a catalyst for needed communication. Who knows. One thing I’ve been noticing more than ever in recent days, is that all families have serious issues... everyone parents differently... all parents are flawed... and all children are a product of their parents flaws. Looking at the Sheild side of the family in contrast to the Hanson side, both have just as many issues... they are just in different forms and are dealt with (or not dealt with) in different ways. It’s easier for me to focus on the negatives that have come from both sides, but as I’ve had time to dwell on things, I’m trying to replace those with the good that has been past on. Facing the nearness of loosing the generation that raised my parents is hard for me to swollow. As I watch their decline in mental and physical health, I can only think that they simply did the best that they could given their surroundings and upbringings. They passed on generational blessings and curses, and ultimately it’s up to us to acknowledge this and respond to it accordingly. What I mean is, we have the power to change how we view our defining story. While there is nothing I can do to change my upbringing or that of my parents, I can ultimately choose the lens through which I view these situations, and I strongly believe that viewing things differently is the first step to overcoming generational pitfalls. God has helped in the changing of my lens, because I’m starting to realize how he views us is how he wants us to view others, and unfortunately many people (including myself) struggle with a distorted image of how God views them. Realizing that God sees us as beautiful, and accepting his grace and mercy in every area of our weakness is key. Also knowing that through Jesus, we are blameless before God. For me at least, this has been the first step in viewing others through a different lens. Thus concludes my two cents for the day.

Part 2

I had to do something else with my time. The effort to sleep proved futile, the in flight entertainment system has crashed twice, and I haven’t had the energy to attempt any reading. Not that reading takes much energy, but certain books definitely feel like a work out for the brain. I’m not even sure I have the energy to continue where I left off in France... I just needed to write. The flight is full and contains many children under the age of 8, and many of them seem to have lost patience with this flight. Most of them happen to be seated in my general vicinity as well. Thank God for iPods.

So back in France, I was arriving at Bethanie. Now Bethanie mind you, is the name of the farm where the Bless Network is located, not the town. The nearest town is Livarot, and the nearest city where we also did most of our outreach, is Lisieux. Driving through the countryside to Bethanie was very picturesque. The sun was setting, casting a glow on everything, and there were old stucco and brick farm houses scattered amidst the fields and vineyards. About every 10 minutes of driving, we would past through a little village with crooked roads and buildings right up to the road. Amazing.
So the first day or two I was really in my shell... I amaze myself at how shy and reserved I can be in new surroundings. The first few days, however, were solely focused on building us up as a team and just getting us to let our walls down... which ended up being quite effective. It’s really just a hard thing to put into words what that time was like. I guess when you go through something like this, it’s like this little but impactful blip on the radar that can best be described as internal fault lines shifting. That might not make sense... but it does in my head, and that’s what matters.

So moving on. After the first week at Bethanie, I had almost no desire to continue on traveling. Then main reason being that it suddenly felt empty to me. I was going to be a tourist and take pictures and see the sights... but the main goal was to simply say that I’ve ‘been’ there. Relationship had become more a priority, causing the desire to ‘tour’ fade in the distance.
I can say that I actually got to experience France, not just tour it, and by experience I mean to see the ins and outs of lives, and live along with the people. That was the substance that I needed... and I didn’t want to leave.

Hmm... on that note, I am finishing this at O’hare airport, and my flight boards in 20 minutes, so I better pay my bill and get moving. Ooo... only two hours until I see Franke :) Continued next time...

Dublin... again.

Well here I sit at the Dublin airport 7 weeks after the first time. It’s crazy to think that it’s been that long already. This chapter of my life has been an interesting one to say the least. There’s way more than I could probably put into words, but I at least have to recap so that I can look back on this with as much information as possible.

So flashback to 7 weeks ago... I was doing the same thing I am now... drinking a Bulmers cider and blogging, but then the whole time thing happened, and things are a bit different on this end. I had no idea what to expect of this leg of the journey, and looking back on it, I got more and less than what I expected. The first six days were spent with Steph and Jon, just adapting to the time change and cultural differences. The weather was warm and sunny, and I was a little bit freaked out about traveling by myself in Europe. I honestly didn’t even think about the mission in France much, but more on what was after France. I was anticipating and looking forward to seeing different cities, taking trains, taking pictures, and all of the touristy type stuff that laid out before me. The picture in my head of the Bless mission was blank... I had no expectations and no previous experience as a guideline. I guess if you made me describe what my expectations were, they would have been pretty black and white and in the stereotypical christian missionary form. Not that stereotypical christian missionaries are bad, but I think that I had walls up and pre-judgements before I even flew to Europe. Then after a six hour ride on the ferry, we pulled into the port at Caen France. I can’t quite describe what I felt, but I get chills just thinking about that moment. There was a child like joy and giddiness that came over me as we drove off the boat, and looking around at the signs and buildings I all of the sudden felt oddly at home. It was as if a part of me that had never found it’s resting place finally had rest. At that point I think that my expectations were turned upside down. I suddenly knew that there was purpose in me being there and it was going to be a far cry from the black and white image I had in my head.

This concludes part one of this insert, as I have just enough time to pee, have a cigarette and get to my boarding gate. To be continued...`

Rainy cloudy blah

Another grey day... Eff. You don’t really realize how much you take sunny warm summers for granted until you spend time in a place where they don’t exist. It’s August, and the weather here is comparable to spring in Seattle or Portland. No wonder the natives here don’t smile much. Today is borderline cold... like sweater and jeans cold. Mixed with the damp, it permeates to the bone making a hot bath sound like heaven... or to wash the dishes just to warm my hands. It’s Norah Jones weather I think... because in my little world Norah is condusive to hot drinks, blankets, cuddling and the like. She’s a fall playing into winter sound that seems to calm the inside while one looks out upon cold and bleak.

Speaking of cold and bleak, that’s what my blog page has been looking like with the absence of my writings... and I could apologize, but I won’t, cause there’s nothing I can do to change the lack over the last weeks. I’m writing now, and that’s what matters. I have only 5 days until I fly back to the states, and I have no idea how I will feel once I arrive. I am a little excited and a little sad at the same time. Excited to see Franke and know that I still have a 1400 mile journey remaining, but sad to think that the 1400 miles will be the final stretch of my summer of madness. I was going to say Journey of Matter there... but I know that my Journey of Matter is far from over. It’s only just begun actually, because I will probably look at life from a bit of a different perspective because of the last several months. No matter what the future holds, I will smile because God has given me the gift of this chapter in my life. He has grown me, challenged me, met with me and broken down with me. I would be nothing without him, my journey would be empty without him and I will forever give him the glory for the perfectly and beautifully broken path that I walk in this life.

Back in Stourbridge

Here I am. Back from traveling europe... and I didn’t travel nearly as much as I had planned. I came back here early for two reasons: Wanting to figure out if it was possible to stay in France for a year, and coming to the realization that traveling just for the sake of traveling is rather empty. Relationship and community is what really makes the world go round, so when I looked at visiting all these different places, all I could see is being a tourist and taking pictures and spending money.
I am kind of missing traveling though... I’ve only been back here for a couple of days and I’m already longing for some new adventure.
After spending a day doing research, I have pretty much concluded that either I stay here and slightly bend the law a bit risking deportation, or I go back home and start from scratch doing it the legal way. Unlike the UK, France doesn’t have a volunteer visa, which really sucks. Wanting to reside in France for a year requires a long stay visa for a non professional. There is a laundry list of requirements and paperwork, and it has to be applied for in person, and in your country of residence. As much as I would love to just stay here and continue on with Bless, I think that doing it the right way is important. Besides, it’s probably not a bad idea to get Franke back to Spokane.
I definitely feel that spending a year with Bless will hold a lot of benefit for me, and I really think that it will open doors to other mission work and hopefully the ability to share my story with others. This trip over here is just the beginning I feel... and that makes me smile. I can’t wait to see what God has in store for the next chapter. I still need lots of prayer, as I still have to make it home (hopefully without breaking down) and I still have to go through the process of getting the visa... which will take a lot of patience, as well as having to fly to San Francisco to present my case to the French consulate. I’m up for it though, cause it really feels like God’s hand is behind it, and if this is where I need to go and what I need to do, then I know that things will fall into place.

Napoli

Oh my FREAKING HOT. I really hope that its not going to be like this the rest of my time here. It is the kind of hot that paralyzes and prevents you from doing anything. Just walking around downtown this morning drained me, so here I sit, drenched in sweat wondering how to make the most of sightseeing in this heat. It's 37 degrees celcius, which is about 100 farenheit, and it is so humid that your clothes stick to you immediately after putting them on. Gross.

It's been awhile since I've blogged anything, so let's see... where did I leave off... oh yes, sitting in the Lacy on Rinke's computer contemplating staying in France for a year. I am still contemplating that, but have actually moved on to seeing if it can work, which involves getting a temporary visa and seeing if I will be able to change my return flight. "Yes, ma'am I would like to change my return flight from two weeks from now to a year from now" ... "no, no I swear I'm not crazy." I can't wait to see how that conversation is going to go.
So before I left the mission, I got an email from my uncles friend Christine in Paris, stating that she would love to have me stay. At first I was mostly exstatic at the thought of saving the 140 dollars that I would have spent on a hostel, but in the end I was blown away by her hospitality, and truely have a new friend in Paris. She took the time to actually meet me at the train station, show me around to places that not all the tourists go, explain all of the public transportation systems and how to navigate them, and on top of it cook for me every night and make me coffee and toast every morning! She was AMAZING. Plus we had many good conversations and some good laughs, and she helped me expand on my French a little. I couldn't have asked for more.
So on the day that I was supposed to leave, I woke up to an email titled "Flight cancellation" I was informed that because of a workers strike at the Orly airport, my flight no longer existed. So I went through all the hoops to see if I could change flights, and the soonest one that I found was for 3 days later, so I went ahead and opted to have the money refunded. Before searching for alterior ways to get to Napoli, I seriously considered just cancelling it all together, but after finding out that my flight out of Napoli was non-refundable, I reconsidered. So I ended up finding a bus ticket for the same price as what I paid for the flight... the only downside being spending 24 hours on a bus. According to the man on the phone, there was a few seats left on one leaving that night, so I paid and started packing. I said my goodbyes and took the 45 minute tube ride across town to the bus terminal, where the lady behind the counter politely informed me that there was no bus leaving for Napoli, and that I was booked for one the following night. So I ended up getting another day in Paris, but actually lost a day due to having to rearrange everything. So the next day we went for a long walk and saw a few more sights that I hadn't seen before we said our goodbyes for the second time.
The bus ride was not the most fun experience in the world, and it ended up being 26 hours due to a connecting bus being late. I didn't sleep at all, and I was too tired and grumpy to appreciate the countryside as we were passing it. However, I can now say that I've been to Milan, Parma, Balogna, Florence, and Rome... even if it was just for a few minutes at the bus station :) By the time I got off the bus and walked the 2.5 km to the hostel with a 50 pound pack on, I was officially dead. But not dead enough to not want a beer, so I went with a fellow Hostel mate to a local outdoor bar and had probably the best beer of my life. So now I'm updated for the most part... YAY. And I'm happy to have a new friend from Taiwan, and one from Hong Kong. PEACE.

Bethanie, Livarot and Lisieux.

I really wish that I had the time to write a small book here, because the last two weeks are deserving of one, but I figured at least a little is better than nothing. First off, France is beautiful. The architecture and landscape here are both amazing. It blows my mind that homes from the 16th and 17th century were built so well that most of them are still standing. It also makes me wonder how all of the sub-divisions in the states will be holding up in the next hundred or so years. Bethanie is a farm situated off of a narrow country road just a few minutes outside of the village of Livarot. It was originally a huge estate with the main manor about a mile away from the outbuildings. At some point in the mid 1800's the land was divided, and a new brick farm house was built right next to the existing outbuildings. The age of the outbuildings is unknown, but most likely 80-100 years older than the home. It's an area so thick with history it makes my head spin. Bethanie is a very special placed... a very blessed place.

13 days ago when the ferry was pulling into the harbor in Caen, something felt strangely familiar to me. It's hard to explain, but I felt something fall into place inside of me, like me being here was always meant to happen. Like I was somehow wired for this point and place in my life. This is going to sound crazy, but I feel like I was born with this inner connection to France, and being here has brought that to life in me. Needless to say, it's been amazing being here. We have been able to bless and love kids in need in the poor areas of Lisieux, but more than that, this mission has been about the inside of me and so much more. I can't even explain without writing a book, but it's all good things. God is rearranging things inside of me, and I'm looking at life through a totally different lens right now. I am not the same person that I was when I left home... but God's not nearly done with me yet. I'm being called even more out of my comfort zone, but I think it's something that I'm finally getting used to. Those of you reading this, please pray for me... I'm really feeling called to this area and I'm thinking about cashing in my plane ticket and staying on with Bless for the next year. I really need prayers and support at this point, because I will be making a decision within the next couple of weeks. I have also decided not to visit all of the places that I was planning on, because tourism with the purpose of being able to say "I've been there" doesn't hold much value to me anymore. I want to LIVE, not simply visit. I want God's PURPOSE, and not just pictures. Crazy how priorities keep on changing :)
I will still be going on to Paris and Naples, as they have already been booked and paid for, but from there I just need time to think and seek God, so I have no real direction... just a goal not to spend much money. I can't believe how much calm I feel inside right now despite all of the unknowns... I'm learning to love life in such a new and different way.
To all of my friends and family both new and old, thank you for your prayers and support. Words can't describe the love I feel for you in my heart. God is good.

Diving off

Tomorrow I dive off into Europe, and I’m tired sore and nervous. Don’t get me wrong, I am excited, but there’s so much out of my control. I’ve begun to stress about finances... I know I’ll be okay, but just like in the states, I’m sure I’ll go through more money than I planned. I slept horrible last night. Tossing and turning with a million and one questions rolling around in my head. I leave tomorrow morning and won’t be returning to Steph and Jon’s until a month from now. I’ve booked until Florence, and I’m not sure I dare book further at this point. I’m quite disappointed in couchsurfers.org... I was really excited about the possibility of staying in someone’s home for free vs. a hostel, but out of all the requests and emails I’ve sent, all have come back with a decline. So hostel’s it is. Paris is booked, Naples is booked, and I know how I’m getting to Florence, but I’m not quite sure where I’m staying yet.
It’s mentally and emotionally taxing trying to figure this all out. I mean, I won’t have my computer, so I’m having to do my research now to figure out what trains/busses and connections I need to get to where I’m going, and then walking directions from there, trying to remember to write down all the pertenant information in my journal.
The mission trip in France should be interesting... staying in a home with lot’s of other christians, not having a room to myself, and not being able to smoke or drink... for two weeks. I’m not quite sure how I’m going to handle this, but I’m sure that I will need a lot of prayer for grace and patience. Hopefully I won’t snap at any point.
Anyway, Jon’s parents are on there way over for curry and to chat about their holiday in Crete, so I’m off for now, and I’m not sure when I will be able to write next... for all I know it could be a matter of weeks, but my hostel in Paris has an internet cafe, so I will be able to write then. To all my family, friends back home, and friends I’ve met along the way, I love you, and big hugs.

Birmingham

Steph and I rode the train to Birmingham today! It pretty much rocked. It’s a really nice town actually... and the shopping center there is awesome! We had Starbucks, and I was given a total dumbfounded look by the girl when I ordered my americano :) I could tell they had never had an order that specific... it was a very proud moment for me.
In the mall there was a place called South-something... anyway, and they have a shopping section that is specifically specialty foods that can only be bought in the States. I coudn’t believe how much some of it costs. A box of Lucky Charms was 7 quid 49 pence which is over ten bucks! Shocking. It’s not just american stuff though, EVERYTHING here costs more. Fuel, taxes, groceries, and the list goes on.
I’ve been like a kid in a candy store looking at all the different cars :) So many different makes and models it’s making my head spin! Not only that, but at least half the cars are diesels... which makes sense with the high fuel costs, but I never knew that Honda made a diesel! I walked past a Chrysler minivan today and smiled to see a vehicle that I recognized... and it was a diesel! Really? A diesel Chrysler? There has never been such a thing in the States. I know American cars like the back of my hand, and it’s really weird being so out of my ‘automobile element’.
Anywhoo, I’m tired and need to get to sleep, but I just wanted to jot a few notes on my day. Oh yea, Steph made thai green curry for dinner, and it was AMAZING. Then we sat around and had some great conversation :) Good day.

First day

Today has been good. I’ve spent it with Steph at the church office doing online stuff while she works. The weather here is very unusual for England... sunny and 80 degrees. I think I brought it with me :)
I’ve been doing research for my travels once the mission trip in France is over, and I’m starting to realize that it’s not all that cheap getting from place to place. Surprisingly, my best bet is to fly instead of taking the train. Train travel is the most popular with tourists in order to see the countryside, so it’s averaging about 25% more in cost vs. air travel. My plan at this point is to take the train from Bethanie to Paris, where Steph and Jon might meet up with me for a couple of days, then I will fly from there to Naples, Italy. I will probably couch surf while in Naples, and I have already contacted an American that lives there to set that up... now let’s hope that he agrees to let me crash there for 4 days!
I will be taking the bus from Naples to Florence, which costs $35 vs. $105 for the train. I’m probably going to bus from there into Rome and then fly to Prague... at least that’s the thought for now.

Anyway, I just wanted to jot a few things down before heading to the park to play football with some guys from the church. Haha! Me? Football? LOL! It sounds funny just saying it being the anti-sport type that I am. I just like the thought of being in a park. I’ll probably just sit and watch :)

Dublin

I am in Dublin Ireland. It looked really cool from the sky... to bad I don’t get to see more of it. The fields were like a big green patchwork quilt stretching out as far as the eye could see, but alas, I am stuck in the airport for the next four hours awaiting my flight to Birmingham. This airport is a little different than what I’m used to. It felt like I was making my way through an outdated high school through narrow hallways and makeshift pass-throughs until I went through security, then it magically turned into a huge shopping mall with designer stores everywhere. I am currently sitting in a rooftop patio bar having a Bulmers cider and a Marlboro and wondering how slow the next few hours is going to go.

The flight was good. We landed 35 minutes early actually. Total flight time was about six and a half hours, and there was plenty of entertainment, with individual TV’s and a slew of movie, gaming and music options. I wish that I had been able to sleep, but seeing as how there was only about an hour of darkness, it was rather hard. We took off at 6:15 PM Chicago time, and landed at 7:15 AM, and somehow flew right along the edge where the sunset and sunrise collide, so needless to say, I’m all messed up. My body is saying what the hell are you doing still up? It’s 3:30 AM! Ugh. I can already tell this is going to be a long day.

Airports are of great intrigue to me... all of these people’s lives and paths colliding in a whirlwind of craziness, but everyone shares a common thread... we’re all going somewhere important. Whether it’s going to see loved ones, leaving loved ones, starting a new adventure or leaving one. There is an unexplainable anticipation that lingers in all airports, kind of an unseen thickness of mixed emotions caught up in the common flow of lives seeking love, purpose, and adventure. So many differences, and yet so many similarities. I love it.

Omg... I leave tomorrow! I have my rental car, I'm mostly packed and I'm a ball of nervous energy. Once I get on the plane, my phone is getting shut off and will not be on again until august 19th... Sad day, but probably a good thing. I am venturing even more out of my control... Here I at least have my own transportation, lots of communication methods, and everyone speaks my language. I am going totally into the unknown with no comfort blanket. This is totally new to me and I'm quite frankly scared sh**less. I'm sure there is a lot more growth in store though, which is always good :). Bring it on.

I'm ready to hop the pond... The time here has been great, but I'm starting to get a little restless. I found out today that it is going to be too expensive to use my iPhone overseas, so after Saturday, the blogging will become much less frequent :(. I'm not complaining though, I could use a break from dependance on this thing. I'm not even sure if I'll bring my laptop while I travel over there... It's extra weight and one more reason for someone to rob me. I'm going to be doing it old school with a pen and paper :) Eeesh... Less than 3 days and I'll be in the air! Can't wait.

I'm ready to hop the pond... The time here has been great, but I'm starting to get a little restless. I found out today that it is going to be too expensive to use my iPhone overseas, so after Saturday, the blogging will become much less frequent :(. I'm not complaining though, I could use a break from dependance on this thing. I'm not even sure if I'll bring my laptop while I travel over there... It's extra weight and one more reason for someone to rob me. I'm going to be doing it old school with a pen and paper :) Eeesh... Less than 3 days and I'll be in the air! Can't wait.

Grrr... I should have known to shop by myself. An argument over who's paying is unavoidable! I wonder where I get my stubborness from...

GD Haven

This needs to be short, but I figured that I should write something really quick while I’m alone to my thoughts. I’m such a slacker. I should really be reading more, but instead find myself playing with my phone or watching TV. Grandma watches a lot of TV... definitely more than what I’m used to. Oh well, I’m here to be with her, and if that means sitting doing what she prefers, that’s what I’m going to do.
I love her so much. With that said, she is an extremely difficult woman. It amazes me how controlling she is... but it all comes in a sweet and quietly manipulative way. If you dare say no to her, you get the quiet guilt trip. She also never states what she wants, which is extremely trying for me. It’s always “whatever you want sweetheart”. But grandma, what do YOU want? “I don’t want anything”, she says, “I want what you want”. This goes round and round until I feel like my head is going to explode, then we both sit in silence smoking our cigarettes and just letting the time pass. When I AM decisive, she seems silently unhappy before suggesting that I might want to do this or that. I take her suggestions as her actually wanting to do what she suggested, so I ask her if that’s what SHE wants, only to get a shrug of the shoulders and the reply “whatever you want sweetheart”. Oh well... it is what it is I guess. All I can do is love her for the woman that she is, and she is a very loving and generous person.

Last night was the best thunderstorm I have EVER seen. Lightning was non-stop, the thunder shook the house, and it rained 3 1/4 inches in less than a hour. We never get these types of storms back home, and I love them. I just sat on the front porch with a smile on my face while the booming and flashing and sound of rain soaked into my bones.
I need to get going to run some errands... I only have four days before departing to Europe, and I have to make sure everything is in line for my trip :)

Food and more food. Grand haven is a nice little town actually... Not that I would choose to live here, but I can totally see why my grandma has.

Watching a cheesy romantic comedy on the hallmark channel has me desperately wanting romance in my life... But then I consider all of the work that goes into a relationship mixed with my fear of commitment, and I suddenly find myself counting the positives of singledom. Then I look at my grandmother, whom I know would be so much happier having someone to simply spend time with. (although she would never admit this). It seems that the more we age, the greater the need to simply have the companionship of someone that knows us well and knows our baggage and yet still chooses to be there. I want this in my life, but it scares me greatly. I wonder if I have what it takes to really love someone else. Sure I have a lot of love in my life, but it's a lot of love with little commitment. I have this issue with seperating myself and pushing people away. I've been on a couple of dates since I've been on the road, and I ask myself, is this one the one? Is this the answer? Is there possibility here? Then I realize that I am the possibility. I can make what I want to out of what road I choose. I want god to open a door and push me through it, but I don't think that's going to happen. It's up to me to choose the road I'm going to take and what I'm going to make of it. Problem is, this takes decisiveness... An area of weakness in me. Ok... Enough self analyzation for today.

I just got back from dropping mom and dad off at the airport in Grand Rapids... Sad face. It was so good to be able to see them for as long as I did, but it did make me miss certain elements of home. Who am I going to have deep psycho-analyzation conversations with? Hopefully I'll meet someone I can hash through inner depths with :). I get so tired of surface only conversations...
I got back to grandmas to find that she had gone to run errands and locked me out of the house, so I took that as a profound excuse to grab a cup of happiness at starbucks :). The jewler just called and my ring is done being cleaned and resized, so I'm off to pick it up.

I did write a long blog today, but I haven't had the chance to get to wi-fi to upload it... Currently I am about to watch The Invention of Lying with mom, dad and grandma :)

A Drive with guests.

So here I sit in my grandmothers kitchen. It’s a very quaint house, built in 1923 and with lots of charm. The woodwork is dark and the walls are stark white, all of them adorned with family photos or trinkets with memories attached. Most of the furniture and paintings my dad remembers from his childhood, and grandma has done a great job keeping everything looking and operating like new despite it’s dated appearance. Mom left a while ago, stating the need for a walk and alone time, and dad, in a futile effort, tried to change a light bulb in the steep stairwell to the basement. There is absolutely no way to get a ladder positioned on the stairs, and the ceiling goes all the way up, so him and grandma are off in search of one of those extenda-thingys that’s supposed to help with bulb replacement.
This means that I have some time to write, so here I am.

Yesterday was jacked. I would have said fu**ed, but there are all varieties of people reading this, so I have to have some filters. It started with meeting my dads uncle John and aunt Jean for breakfast in Madison. Breakfast was my favorite... lot’s of tasty food for very little money. We were passing old pictures around when I noticed that Jean’s gaze had shifted from pictures, to staring blankly at the tablecloth. There was a total loss of connect in her eyes, and no response when I asked her if she was okay. Then her head dropped and her arm began twitching, and that’s when I knew that she was definitely not okay. Thank God there was a nurse in the restaurant, and she laid her down and kept her pulse until the paramedics arrived. To my shock, my dads uncle John seemed to be more bothered that our time together was being interrupted than the fact that his wife had just collapsed... he even kept trying to explain pictures to dad, while his wife, the person that he is supposed to love the most in this world, lie there helpless. I wanted to slap him! This incident brought great insight into a curse that runs in the Sheild side of the family... being more concerned with not making a scene and not wanting to disrupt a moment, that you would even downplay the possibility that your spouse might be dying. This is an extreme example, but it shed so much light for me on how deep the background is for striving to be socially acceptable above all else.

So we finally got on the road stopping at a few small towns before Illinois. One thing I’ve realized about traveling with 3 other people is that bathroom breaks become a much more frequent occurance. Having to worry about 3 other people aside from myself also heightened my stress level... Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents and my grandma, but the driving dynamic is way different. Is my window down to far? Can I have music going? Is the music too loud? I never had to think of these things driving by myself. So sets the scene driving into the where I was born... the northern suburbs of Chicago. My anxiety and stress level had been teetering on the edge for about an hour or so, and per my request, dad had devised a route that would avoid the interstate. I wish I had chosen the interstate. Once we got into Illinois, there were stoplights on the highway... everywhere. No joke, by the time I finally got Frankes over loaded ass to 55 mph, I was slamming on the brakes coming to a stop. And trust me, it takes a LOT to get her up to speed, and a LOT to get her to stop. But more than this, being her pilot, my sanity level was hanging on by a thread. So we stopped to see the house mom and dad lived at when I was born... which happened to no longer be there. Very emotional for mom... and understandably so. After that and stopping to see the hospital where I was born and where mom worked at, we were perfectly lined up for Chicago’s rush hour traffic. FML. I also for the most part was not smoking while driving because of wanting to respect my passengers... bad idea for me during rush hour. Stop and go, stop and go, stop and go, stop and go, BAM! A purple PT Cruiser suddenly collided with my bumper after being hit by the person behind her. I immediately expected the worst, but Franke was still running, so I pulled off to the shoulder while the other two morons decided to put their flashers on and block traffic. Not that I’m judging. After getting out and examining the damage, I realized that Franke’s bumpers were pretty tough, because there was hardly any. After looking back at the other cars, dad and I decided that it would probably eat up at least an hour if we did the whole insurance thing, so we hopped back in the van and took off.
Another solid hour of stop and go, and at this point I’m so tense that I’m nearing an emotional breakdown, and suddenly a popping sound came from the engine and then a total loss of power. We were right in the middle of two freeways merging in rush hour, there was no shoulder, and no exit in sight. My heart was pounding so hard I thought it was going to explode. I downshifted to third and got a short burst of power before it sputtered and died again... then into second where I got another burst of power. She would surge then backfire then die, and kept doing this barely limping along at 20 mph. Finally a miracle: 31st street exit 1/4 mile. As we got to the off ramp Franke let out one last backfire and died. Miraculously, we navigated the off ramp, around a bus, and coasted into a spot on the side of the street. Getting out of the car I swear I almost collapsed... my adrenaline was rushing so hard I could barely hold my cigarette.
We prayed for a miracle, and then went off in search of a bathroom. After a block of walking, we quickly realized that we landed near chinatown and every place was displaying a ‘no public washroom’ sign. A very kind chinese lady reluctantly and despite her sign, let us empty our bladders. After about 45 minutes, we decided to see if Franke would start and make it to a gas station down the street. Sure enough, she fired right up and made it without a problem, so after filling up with gas, we ventured back out on the freeway, where we experienced no more issues whatsoever. She made it the last 150 miles to Grand Haven like a trooper, and I still have no idea exactly what was happening with the engine back in Chicago, but I believe that God worked a miracle to get us safely where we needed to go. It was a crazy day, and this is now a crazy long blog entry, but I needed to put this day into words.

I'm so beat that I don't have many words, but we made it. It was a miracle day to say the least, and very eventful. I am a wreck, but now I have 8 days to unwind and get my shit sorted through... Internally and externally. I NEED TO JOG... And push ups, and crunches and sit ups, oh my! It's going to take a week just to burn off the burger I ate for dinner... Ugh. Aunt Tina's cooking hasn't even started yet either... Maybe I'll just not eat much in Europe... I'll save money that way too. I'm finally at the point where I'm starting to crave routine. I don't know where I was going with that, but routine sounds nice... And sleep. I'm stress rambling right now.

Broke down in chicagos china town... This should be interesting. At least I have company! Hopefully just overheated? We shall soon see.

Hmmm... So far Illinois isn't that impressive. Wisconsin was much prettier and better kept .

Interesting start to the morning... Stopped to have breakfast with my dads uncle and aunt, and his aunt ended up having mini strokes and being hauled out of the restaraunt on a stretcher. Weird start to the day.

Do my eyes decieve me? Totally clear and sunny? I forgot what that looks like until now! The last 10 days in Minnesota have been cloudy and gross. Yay, it will be a good day for driving. Time to drag myself out of my cocoon of comfort and get ready for the day.

Omg... Tired. I got less than 6 hours of sleep last night. Traveling with mom, dad and grandma equals hotel though :). Hot tub and comfy bed here I come!

I have never seen such a huge tourist trap in my life! Wow... The Wisconsin dells are quite the experience.

Welcome to Wisconsin!

On the road again!

Ugh... I'm tired and sore. A hot tub would be really nice right about now. It's great being around family, but today I've been frusterated at everything. Theres way too much passive indecisiveness going on for my liking, and I'm feeling about 10 years older than my age. Oh well, I'm still glad to be here and blessed to be alive. Could use some prayers for inner peace though...

Dear blog, I'm sorry for the neglect. I love adding new things to you, but I've been entirely too busy since the fam got into town. I can't promise much, but I will try to send you more one liners as the fun times roll on :). Love, me.

I LOVE my family! I have missed them so much, and after 2 months and 4700 miles, they're here! Yay for family. I am blessed beyond any amount of money. I could cry with joy right now. Love makes the world go 'round :)

Last night was fun :). Grandma and Luke flew in, and we all had dinner at Rachel and Davids. To everyones shock the stovetop espresso pot exploded with a loud bang sending coffee all over the kitchen. No one was hurt, but the cleanup was extensive. Nothing like a coffee explosion to kick off the reunion! In a matter of hours I get to pick up mom, dad and my sisters :). YAY.

Grand Old Day

So far today has been the ultimate of lazy... sleeping in until 10, taking forever in the shower, and then throwing an internal fit due to the constant struggle of poor self image. I often wonder if it will ever go away... when I look in the mirror why is it that I only see flaws and things about my appearance that I hate? If only I had 10 grand and a good plastic surgeon... but even then would I look at myself different? Or would I continue to pick my appearance apart? Probably the latter. I know it’s an internal thing, and one that my sisters and I have constantly struggled with for the majority of our lives... but where is it coming from? What is the root cause? I’m in a total psycho-analyzation state right now and want answers dammit! I want better self esteem and self confidence, but I always run into these nasty internal road blocks. Gross.

In other news, yesterday was a blast. I was not expecting to have as much fun as I actually had. I woke up feeling very sub-par due to the mixture of drinks the night before, and was anticipating dragging all day long. I went to Woodland Hills Church with Dan, Dani and CJ, and despite fighting the urge to fall asleep, heard a great sermon on the prodigal from Greg Boyd. I then headed to Grand Old Day festival, where I expected to see a small community street fair that I would be bored with in a matter of an hour. I got there before my cousin, and parked near the west end of the fair, but had no clue that it was an ‘end’. Due to the crest of a hill, I thought that the ‘west end’ was the entire festival, and it was just what I had expected... not that big, a high school jazz band playing, some art booths, some food, and a few thousand people. I met up with Victoria and her boyfriend Dan, and we started walking around. We all thought that we had seen most of what there was to see, until we reached the other side of the crest... where to my amazement, the street fair kept on going... and going, and going, and going. In fact, none of us could see an end, and we could see for probably a mile down the road! I was blown away to say the least. Come to find out, the street fair covered about a mile and a half of road, there was about a dozen live concerts, beer gardens everywhere, every type of food imaginable, and close to a quarter of a million people. It was crazy, but so much fun.
After that, we went to a local neighborhood pub called the Blue Door, which supposedly bragged the best burger in the twin cities. Due to no more than 600 square feet of seating space, we put our names on a list, and waited patiently for almost a hour before being seated. At this point I was thinking that the burger had better be made out of gold to make the wait worth it. It was... hands down the best burger I have ever had. Writing about it is making my crave one right now actually... Speaking of food, I think I need to go make something to eat.

This is fun! At Nyes polonaise lounge which is a dueling piano bar in downtown. Voted the best bar in the USA by esquire magazine. Yay.

Night with Dan

I got to hang out with Dan and Dani last night, which was a lot of fun. Again, talked about a lot of under the surface things about our family and life in general... I’m sensing a pattern with this leg of my journey. It’s funny how grandpa’s declining health and other issues collide with this reunion, but it’s a good thing because communication is needed as well as just time together. It’s a good thing to be here, and I’m loving being able to know my uncles and cousins better. I’m thinking that I might have to stop and spend some more time here once I get back from Europe.
Tonight will be fun... my cousins have rallied up some of their friends and we’re going to head downtown for drinks and some dancing. Rachel and I had a lot of fun shopping this afternoon. We hit up some vintage and used clothing stores and had fun trying stuff on. Rachel ended up getting like 8 shirts for 20 bucks... I didn’t have as good of luck, but found a nice long sleeve t-shirt. Tomorrow I get to visit the church Dan goes to, which happens to be a church that is pastored by an author that my sister and her husband love, so I’m excited for that. Then we’re all meeting up for ‘Grand ole Days’ in St. Paul, which is some sort of street fair type thing. Fun times!

Night with Dave

I don’t know why I’m tired, but by all means I shouldn’t be. I slept 9 hours last night... I’m getting ready to head over to my cousins mom’s house for a BBQ, then on to dinner with my uncle Dan and his wife Danielle. At this point I figure a little weight gain is inevitable... oh well, one thing this side of the family does very well is food and drink :)
Last night was spent with my uncle Dave, and was loaded with tidbits and backstory on my grandparents and my dad and his brothers growing up. I’ve spent enough time in my life getting in tune with all the blessings and curses from my mom’s side of the family, and now I get to tune into dad’s side. Dave wrote a story about a typical morning in their house growing up, and it was very powerful to read a painted picture of the hidden dysfunction within their 1960’s suburban family. I could rabbit trail for hours on this subject, but I need to get going, so at least it’s all in my head for now.

I'm sitting holding my grandpas hand watching him sleep. It's really hard seeing him this physically and mentally weak. :(

Minnesota

I made it to Minneapolis! I’m just about to fall asleep, but I thought I needed to write at least a little. The drive today was easy, and I got into town around 1. I am currently staying with my cousin Rachel, her husband Dave, and their daughter Adelede... and of course I can’t forget their ankle biting dog Sampson. Same name as my baby back home... I miss my dog :( Their Sampson is a tiny little alpha dog that doesn’t like most men, and seriously acts like he’s going to take a chunk of flesh out of whatever appendage you hold most dear. I think he’s taken to me, as I was finally able to pet him... anyway, he’s cute and it’s really unfortunate that he has such a large chip on his shoulder.

Tonight was fun! I can’t say how glad I am to finally be able to spend time with dad’s side of the family. All of my life I’ve been blessed to be close to my aunts, uncles and cousins on my mom’s side, but I’ve definitely greeved the lack of contact with my dad’s side. After all, blood is blood, right? Well... I guess there is blood that refuses to act like family, but I’d rather not go there right now. Rachel, being the wonderful hostess that she is, took it upon herself to invite my cousins and uncles over for drinks and conversation. I totally saw my dad when my uncle Dave walked up to me... the similarities were uncanny. Same bone structure, same nose, same thin upper lip... I love it. It’s just great to me to see the Sheild side, and to be able to actually spend some time getting to know them. I can already tell that this is going to be a good time, and in a week I get to see my parents and two of my sisters... YAY. I could cry right now at the thought of seeing them... and most would think “what’s the big deal? It’s only been two months“... but my family is my foundation, and as the saying goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder. There’s nothing like being on the road to make any fragment of ‘home’ seem like an oasis of greatness, and that oasis for me is the people that I love more than life itself.
I’m exited to see my grandpa tomorrow, and I’m so glad to hear that he’s doing a lot better. I really hope that he can be an active part of the reunion... I know he hates being powerlessly stuck in the hospital... especially when all his children and grandchildren are together. I have faith that a miracle can happen :) Anyway, It’s bed time.

I made it to granite falls where I found a campground rather quickly. I wasn't looking for one, but rather a place I could stealth camp for free. After driving around and seeing no camp hosts or fee signs, I figured that I would just stay here. Let's just hope that I didn't miss something and end up with some angry park ranger on my case. After getting out of the van I was proptly welcomed by a swarm of Mosquitos that must have sensed the blood of a foreigner... I guess I needed a formal welcome to Minnesota :). Thank God the previous owner of franke left a can of OFF in the back compartment, cause these are persistant little bastards. Now trying to get me through my cloathes and on my face!

I am happy with today and am giving myself a much deserved pat on the back. It was my lengthiest day by far, totalling 12 hours 35 minutes and 540 miles at a cool 53-55 miles per hour. Sometimes I question my sanity level... Especially navigating through severe cross winds like much of today. I think my arms actually got a workout from fighting the steering wheel. Needless to say, I'm beat, but I am very happy to have a quick and easy 110 mile day tomorrow :). Oh, btw this won't be posted until tomorrow due to lack of service, but I needed to write it now due to bordom :). Off to bed.

I just realized that I've been driving for 12 hours straight, and pretty much running on mtn dew and bullshit right now... Time to find a place to camp.

Welcome to Minnesota :). Heck to the yes!

I am effing tired of driving! So exhausted already... And it's only 5:30. At least on the coast and in the mountains there was a great amount of stuff to look at. Different scenery gives me energy, and this is all starting to look the same. I did get a burst of energy driving down a county road that turned to dirt! That was fun :). I am currently in Sioux falls, SD, and am going to attempt another 100 miles. Ugh. At least I'm almost to the homestretch :)

Oh my dirty windshield... Time to find a gas station! On to day 2 of the great plains and I still feel half asleep...brrahaha. Baby cows are cute!

Well, I guess the corner of a field seems like a nice place to camp. I must have gone through a time change, cause I somehow lost a hour... The sun just set and it's 9:40... Weird. I ended up doing 335 miles, and Franke did marvelously. I think she's thanking me for the lack of hills and mountain passes :). It's definitely taking a bit of adjustment going from a house with lots of people and constant happenings to being by myself out on the road again. At least I do well when stuck in my own head :). Today was pretty uneventful... Saying goodbye, music, French lesson, a couple chapters of a book on CD... And lots of flat fields with half deserted towns here and there. Not that I'm complaining, cause it was a good day,

Oh my flat and straight great plains... Miles and miles of the same. At least Franke doesn't have to work hard :). She's purring right along... And getting a steady 22-23 MPG :) It looks like I'll get about 300 miles in today, so I should end up landing in MPLS sometime Wednesday.

And into the great plains I sail... Again, so glad I spent time in Denver :)

Effing cold!

This one will be quick, because for some reason this Starbucks thinks that 60 degrees is a suitable indoor temperature. Grrr... So anyway, today is my last day in Denver, and again I met new friends and had views challenged in certain ways. I really like the people I’ve met here, and I think I will have to come back sometime in the not too distant future. Maybe I’ll just keep traveling when I get back from Europe... I could work from place to place under the table. I’m sure that there are farms or small businesses that could use my skills...
I really like this lifestyle, and I think the more time I spend out on the road, the harder it’s going to be to plug myself back into the daily grind. So much in my life has been turned upside-down... and I love it.
I keep getting the sense that my story needs to be told... what that looks like exactly, I don’t know yet, but I’m feeling a new purpose to my life right now that is hard to explain.
OK... Like I said, COLD... so I’m stopping now. Thanks Starbucks.

Dazbog Coffee

I finally found a really good local coffee spot. Picture an old repair shop converted with big garage doors making inside and outside mesh seamlessly, and sitting amidst leafy trees and flowers in a historic neighborhood. Now picture 75 degrees in the shade, an almost perfect iced mocha and chill, relaxing music. This combination makes for one happy vagabond :)

Yesterday I drove to Boulder and spent the afternoon walking the shops in downtown. Pearl street is brick with countless specialty and art shops... a perfect place for people watching. Boulder would be to Denver what Bellevue is to Seattle, or what Lake Oswego is to Portland. An overpriced but nearly perfectly beautiful town where most of the upper crust suburbanites choose to live. I picked up a real estate magazine where I quickly realized that 600k-1 million was the most common price range... and this was for pretty average houses. A run-down 1200 square foot rancher was being advertised as a ‘starter home’ for $325,000. Something I really like about this area is that bikes are almost as common as cars, and the streets are very bike friendly for the most part.

This leg of the journey has introduced me to the art of ‘dumpstering’. Most people I know, just like myself, would cringe over the thought of getting food out of a dumpster, but I’m blown away at how much perfectly good food is thrown out for the sake of being too close to the expiration date. I was shocked to learn that the wasted food from grocery stores totals almost 50% of their inventory, yet most of them have policies against it going anywhere but the locked dumpster! With the amount of starvation in the world this makes me rather sick to think about. It is illegal to dumpster in Denver, but with various food producing corporations located here, Terese and her housemates take the risk and subsequently pay a very minimal amount on grocery bills. I ate a meal with all of them on Thursday night that was surprisingly good, and I was shocked to discover that only about 25% of the ingredients were actually purchased. Last night was a really cool example as well. There is a liberation outreach in Indonesia that they feel strongly about, and in order to be able to help them financially, they sold burritos at a fundraiser. I helped assemble the burritos... they tasted just as good as one you would get at many restaurants. It cost 30 bucks to make close to 50 good sized burritos! It’s amazing to me how we’re conditioned from birth to view things certain ways, and how much of those conditioned views really need to be questioned. These people live life totally on the edge of society, and it actually feels more right than being a part of the ‘norm’.
Here again there is community, much like that in San Francisco, but instead of it being a church, it’s togetherness for causes that their passionate about. The common thread would be several types of people and personalities all under one roof being stretched and forced to work through things. They are in a common practice of loving and supporting one another in daily life. I like this, and I think that more of this is needed in the world...

Nothing makes you look at life differently more than hanging out with a group of anarchists... These people definitely live life outside the norm... And they all have such cool stories and life experiences. I'm just having fun taking it all in... What an experience :). I'm very glad I stopped here for a bit! Plus, I found a connection to some places to stay in Italy and Germany :)

Denver

My music does it’s best, but still doesn’t drown out the background murmur of many lives colliding under one familiar and social roof. The little green and black Starbucks symbol spells comfort for me. It’s the one constant amidst scenery that has been changing every day. Sometimes I feel guilt when I feed the corporate giant, but it’s quickly justified with the fact that it has gainfully employed two of my sisters, and it got it’s start as one little coffee shop just a few hours from home, so I feel the right to say I’m supporting my local coffee shop... even though it happens to be the most successful coffee shop in the world. The northwest is still the coffee capital though... in other places I’ve been, you can tell that people don’t take their coffee nearly as seriously as a northwesterner. We mean business when we walk into a Starbucks. It’s treated as more of an art form at home versus most other places I’ve been. You can also tell by the lack of independent shops... don’t get me wrong, there are independent shops, but we’re talking maybe one or two in a square mile radius, where in Spokane, Seattle, or Portland there would be at least 10 in that same square mile radius. Not only that, but I’ve visited many independent shops along my journey, and for the most part have been disgusted with my drink. Maybe it’s different with hot drinks, but most of the time I don’t drink hot coffee unless it’s free. Anyway, enough with my coffee rant.

So here I sit on the corner of 18th and Franklin in Denver... and it’s a beautiful and very diverse city. Evidently it’s a melting pot for many forms of activism, and there seems to be a big hippie/artsy/grunge scene. I would say it reminds me of Seattle... but before Seattle’s head got too big for it’s own good.
Last night I went to a Speak Easy with Terese that one of her roommates was putting on. This was the first time I had ever heard of the term, and basically it means a chill house party with a bar that serves drinks for money. The term ‘Speak Easy’ comes from the need to keep it on the down low, because it’s illegal in any state to charge for alcohol without having your liquor license.
Anyway, the setting was really nice actually, in a back yard with white lights and a fire pit, and lots of nice down to earth people. Definitely in a different chapter than Montrose, but it’s all a part of the journey. I’m not sure how long I will be here, but it will take a max of 3 days to get to Minneapolis and I’m a bit ahead of schedule, so I’m figuring a couple of days here would be nice.

So I made it over the last of the passes before the great plains, and franke is putting right along :). Monarch Crest was 11,312 feet and still had snow on the ground. Doing pretty good for the day, already putting away 200 miles. I'm in a windy river canyon heading towards Colorado Springs. About 40 miles back my French lesson was inturrupted by a loud BANG as a bird collided with my windshield... Poor guy... I still have some guts and feathers to clean off, but thank God it didn't break the glass! Anyway, just a quick update while Franke cools off. Time to keep on truckin!

Well, tomorrow I leave Montrose headed for Denver. It will be bittersweet leaving here... This has been a chapter filled with things that my heart really needed. My feet feel more firmly planted in my authentic self. It's amazing how I've come to feel at home being on the road... So many fears have been faced, and God has seen me through every one :) I'm so glad to be out here living a better story with my life... It's almost like this has been engrained in me for years, and I'm finally living it out. I realized today that it's already been 7 weeks and 3100 miles on the road... WOW.
Franke seems ready for the road again, running like a top and got washed and vacuumed today :). Denver should be interesting... I get to see Terese, Evan and Cheri's other daughter. She's involved in a lot of activist type stuff, and it looks like I might get to be a part of my first protest :). YAY for new adventures! I also booked my flight for England today, and got a relatively good deal. Ok, that was a big yawn, so I'm going to peace out.

God is good. Simple is good. Being here has calmed the noise in my head and hepled give my life needed perspective. I think I could be quite happy living in a van down by the river :).
Today was a window into my childhood... Hearing stories from the church Evan and my dad started when I was too young to remember, and reliving old memories through distantly familiar songs. I am so greatful to have such a rich inheritance from my parents... One that is built upon faith and good character and one that money could never buy.
I am blessed to now be friends with Evan and Cheri... People who have stood by my parents in friendship throughout the years, and now know my life story.

The bonus to my day was that Franke got a clean bill of health and an oil change, and Evan gave me a history lesson on the great schism of 1054 over coffee and bear claws :). I also got some reading and a nap in, and played with the goats.

Montrose

Yesterday we went to the ranch, which was actually a lot of fun. I never thought repairing fences would be relaxing, but was surprised at how much I enjoyed it! Went to an anglican church this morning and met some very nice people and had a very different church experience than what I’m used to, but it was great to be a part of a more traditional service. Evan and Cheri are GREAT people, and some of the most understanding and non judgemental people that i’ve met. Their love for others overflows from God’s love for them, and it’s very refreshing to be here and have another great example of how I can learn to love better.
I just got off the phone with my mom and sister, who called from my cousins wedding. Congratulations Bryce and Joselyn, I wish I could have been there to celebrate with everybody.

The highlight of my day was playing with the goats... I really want one now actually. They have so much personality! It’s amazing how the simple things in life bring so much joy. With that said, I need to get to bed, as Franke has a doctors appointment first thing in the morning. Nothing seriously wrong, just need to have a thorough check-up before heading into the midwest where good VW mechanics are much harder to come by.

Heading up to the ranch to repair fences!

I made it to montrose :). I am so glad I'm here. I can already tell that this is going to be a good visit. Cheri made a great dinner on their old fashioned wood stove, and we had homemade ice cream made with goats milk for dessert :). There is much to be said for simplicity... I am curious as to how I'm going to grow from this stop in my journey.

I am exhausted. It's amazing how going up steep mountain passes at 25 mph in 2nd gear will wear you out! I have a bit of a stress headache as well. I am currently in Ouray Coloroado, which happens to be the most beautiful mountain town I've seen, so I'm camped here so that I can look around and take some pictures tomorrow. I'm only about 35 miles from my next destination :). I can barely think right now, so sleep is the priority!

They don't call it the million dollar highway for nothing! These mountains are HUGE! I can't believe I've gone from near sea level and 95 degrees to snow at 9000 feet in less than two days. I'm definitely more mountains than desert... I'm lovin the lakes and rivers by my side again :)

The 4 corners monument was closed :(. But I met some really great people :). I'm in a new state! Cheers to the smoother highway in Colorado!

Sedona to desolate

It's amazing what is spoken to the heart on a long, desolate stretch of desert... So far this journey has tested my trust in God time and time again, and it's amazing to me how ingrained I am in trusting fear more than God. Fear paralyzes, then causes us to rationalize, then pride causes us to justify our rationalizations. I know that was a loaded senence, but break it down... It's the truth! I dealt with this head on today... On a very lonely stretch of desolate highway. At this point I'm already struggling with the fear of breaking down in the middle of nowhere, and while passing a 1960's gas station, I caught a hitchhiker out of the corner of my eye. I kept driving. "I want you to give that person a ride". The voice in my heart was very clear. I can not fully sum up the internal battle that went on in the 5 minutes following, but i was paralyzed, then rationalized, and when i realized i was rationalizing, pride was right there to justify. Inturrupting the noise in my head were words I heard very clear: "You cannot trust me if you keep letting fear win". I turned around. I didn't see him at first and my heart leaped with joy thinking that someone else had picked him up. I pulled into the station and there he was sitting down behind some tall grass. He was burly and well worn... Shirtless with a bandana on his head, and not a very friendly looking fellow. I kept thinking about how easy it woud be to hide a body out here... But I knew God had my back, so I pulled up and started conversation. Matt was a very friendly man, who was just trying to make it out to the emerald triangle in California. The emerald triangle is the northernmost 3 counties in CA that happen to produce the most marijuana in the nation... I knew this from my camping neighbors in Crecent City. Anyway, we chatted a bit, and he told me that a lady stopped earlier and gave him two apples, which he had no use for due to the lack of front teeth. I traded him ten bucks for the apples, gave him some cigarettes and wished him well on his journey.
Facing into my fear through trusting God was very humbling... Because it forced me to look at how much I let fear win... And how much better it is when we just trust.

All I can say is WOW. Sedona has to be one of the most beautiful places on this earth! I am blown away at the red rock mountains... I don't think that I could ever take enough pictures of this place. I really wish that I was here at sunset, but alas... I really need to put some more miles on the day. Amazing... I have to come back someday when I can spend more time :)

It's gotta be 10-15 degrees cooler up here than in Phoenix. Yay for that!

And the freeway is at a standstill due to roadwork... Woo hoo!

Here we go again! Can we make it more than 60 miles this time?

Well... Franke is fixed for now :). It actually was the coil, but it shorted out causing the points and condenser to melt inside of the distributor. So even though i correctly diagnosed the problem, it caused a domino effect. So the question is whether to drive for a couple of hours tonight, or hit the road in the morning...

Phoenix and tow #3

So Jay got out there with the part last night, and after a few minutes we realized that the coil wasn’t in fact the problem. I didn’t really want to leave Franke, but Jay talked me into coming back into Phoenix with him, so I hid the spare key, grabbed the valuables and came back here.

I’m having a hard time not being mad at God right now... I’ve been throwing an internal fit for hours because this doesn’t seem fair to me. I checked and tested so many things under the hood and felt like I had made progress and narrowed it down to the correct problem all to end up back at square one. GRRR. If only I had just had Franke towed first thing, I might be back on the road by now, but instead today will probably be spent waiting.
Ok... enough pity party. Looking at the bright side, the place I got the coil from actually specializes in air cooled’s and they seem like pretty honest guys, so that is where Franke will be towed to. Plus Nick said that I could use his car for the day, so at least I won’t feel stuck while I’m waiting.
There is a silver lining... albeit a pretty thin one...

So here I am... A rest stop 60 miles out of Phoenix. Jay, the friend of nicks that I stayed with, is driving the coil out to me... God bless him. Such a kind and generous man. I pray this is the problem... If not, I have to deal with towing again, and this one will cost me due to the fact that my insurance only covers the first 15 miles. Regardless, I've already paid for almost my entire insurance premium from the first two tows :). So glad I got roadside assistance! The coil won't be that hard to replace... Already got the old one out. Ugh... This whole hurry up and wait thing is testing my patience yet again... Probably a good thing, as that is the first thing that love is, but I'm not gonna lie, it sucks ass! I should have made 200+ miles today, and here I am wondering what god is doing behind the curtain of my existence. I'm sure I will know eventually... But this is hard for me right now. Thank god for iPods!

Well... Shortly after praying for a miricle, a man named Scott who knows more than I about mechanics spent 30 minutes with me trying to diagnose the problem. Franke still isn't running, but it was really awesome of him to help :). We did eliminate some of the 'what-iffs' too. Then I called my mechanic chris and he walked me through several other tests. It was either a fuel or a spark issue, and after testing the fuel pump and making sure the injectors were getting gas, fuel was ruled out as being the problem. So I checked the cap and rotor for heat damage and everything in there was still like new, so we moved on to making sure the coil was getting power, which it was. Anyway, after much eliminating, we came to the conclusion that the coil is probably bad. Chris is about 90% sure that this is the problem... Evidently a common one in the air cooleds. So I searched for parts places in Phoenix and the first one I called had a used coil that works for only 20 bucks (vs. 120 for a new one). Plus the parts place was only a few blocks from where I was staying :). So I called nick, and his boyfriend drove over there and picked up the coil, and now he's trying to find someone to drive it out to me. If he can't find anyone, he will drive it out when he gets off work at 8. So even though I didn't get the instant miricle that I prayed for, things are working out :). I still need lots of prayer that the coil is in fact the problem... And I still have to replace it... Here I go playing mechanic again.

Lord teach me to trust completely in you. Circumstances out of my control are ways that you draw me closer... Help me to see your hand behind trials on the road, and show me what I need in this moment. I'm sorry for the times that I've ignored your voice. Thank you for your mercy and grace. In your sons name, amen.

Yay for higher elevations and less heat... Although after a few long grades I pulled over at a rest stop and franke is not wanting to start. I'll give her some time to cool off... Probably a bit overheated.

Time for a haircut and coffee, then off to Sedona and flagstaff. I slept like a log last night :)

Cooking for the boys after a long night and one too many beverages... I think i'll leave tomorrow... Today calls for a couch and air conditioning.

Goodbye Tucson!

I'm such a dork...

Girls of my blog! Download or buy Avalon- testify to love :). It's a great song that is needed to be heard by more people. Teresa, Cheryl, Tiff, Sarah... listen to this at the beginning of your day... Let it guide you to Gods word for your day. I love my girls and miss each one of you so much. Hugs to my good friends back in the NW, my mom and my sisters.

Dad, you know your place in my heart :)

Currently in east Tucson visiting with Teresas sister Trina. Her and her husband steve live on probably the only body of water in the area... A creek that runs through a valley behind their house. I can definitely tell the family resemblence... She has the same eyes and cheeks as her sister :)

Tucson

So here I sit, drinking a margarita and eating chips and salsa. Rich is playing Resident Evil, which looks like an interesting kill everybody type of game, and Becky is in the other room making RV park reservations. It seems that she is almost always stressing out about something, and it makes me wonder what the root cause is... I'm in sycho-analyze mode I guess...

So good news is I found my camera! Nick found it by the bed where I slept in Phoenix Sunday night. Bad news is that I have no camera to capture my Tucson leg of the journey. I’m trying to take some pictures with my phone, but it’s just not the same.

Probably the biggest observation that I’ve made thus far in my travels would have to be this: The simpler the persons life, the more peace and joy that person has, and the more ‘stuff’ that people attach their identity to, the more unrest and discontent they portray. I have seen all walks of people and many different settings so far in my adventures, yet this remains true time and time again. I’ve also been on both ends of this spectrum, so I’ve realized it from personal experience as well.
If we can’t take anything with us when we leave this world, than why do we fear letting go of what we have? From a spiritual perspective, by all means it doesn’t make sense. The world teaches us that all we have is what is tangible, which runs contrary to what the bible teaches us, which is that all that is tangible will turn to dust, and faith alone is really all we have. I have to ask myself, how can I continue fearing the loss of what is in the physical when I know that faith in God is all that matters in the end? The key word is FEAR... because it paralyzes people, and keeps us clutching to what we own, because it’s easier to fall back on that than to trust in something we can’t see. Anyway, just some ramblings. I swear I’m going to get somewhere with this at some point in the future...

So we just went to the San Xavier mission, and now were in Tuboc looking at some art and shops. The mission was awesome :)

The way the mountains change color around here is simply amazing. From the prettiest blue, to oranges reds and purples. Yay for being alive.

So I'm out with Larissa and her boyfriend John... Having a few drinks, and about to go see an 80's cover band. Fun times :)

A free slideshow by Smilebox

Totally bummed right now. Either I lost my camera, or it got stolen out of the front seat of my car :(. I took pictures on the drive to Phoenix, but haven't seen the camera since... Hopefully it turnes up somewhere.

At least the flat desert is good for 23 miles per gallon :)

So I made it to Phoenix. About 9 hours to do 375 miles, which in my book is pretty damn good. Before this leg I've only been averaging 150 miles a day, which in large part had to do with the beautiful coast line. I almost wish that I would have found a campground near Joshua Tree and slowed this leg down a bit. Oh well... I have plenty of time to make random stops later. It definitely makes me think that I would love to do this trip again in the future... Only take more time :) Im tired... But one last thing. I love you mom! You are the most amazing woman I know. Thank you for giving your children gifts that money could never buy. This day exists because of people like you :)

Desert sunsets are amazing!

Wow... The desert is actually quite beautiful :)

In palm desert heading into the vast desert between here and Phoenix! Got my water and spare gas :). Cheers to life.

Yesterday was another fun day :). We went to La Jolla where we walked around the shops and the park by the ocean, then had dinner and drinks at this amazing 1920's hotel overlooking the ocean at sunset. Then we ended the night back in Laguna at an Italian place that had live jazz music. Ann and Robert are an absolute riot... My face hurt from laughing so hard.
It's funny to me how different life is here compared to the other places I've been so far. I can understand why people are drawn to the So Cal life, and I can understand why people leave it just the same. To each his own I guess.

I leave tomorrow to make the trek across the desert... Including the stretch of two hundred some odd miles with no towns or services. I pray that Franke does ok in the desert heat... And me for that matter.
It was great to see San Juan Capistrano today, which is home to the oldest residential street in California, and the oldest home, which was built in 1770. The catholic mission there was built in 1776, with the intention of converting native Americans to Catholicism, which was met with much resistance. It was a great little history lesson :). Anyway, I'm off to get ready for another night at some posh place that I should dress well for... Fun times :) I'm excited for the next leg of my adventure, and will post once I'm on the road.

Today was fun. I've been all over southern orange county. Went to corona del mar with Robert and saw some great shops and had lunch at a great natural foods type place, then Ann and I went to Huntington beach where I got to meet her sister Trisha and her nieces Paris, Hannah and Sasha. We then went to Newport Beach where I fell in love with Balboa Island. The day was finished with the Laguna Beach art walk, where all the local artists serve wine and have their art on display. It was a good day. This area is definitely a far cry from Spokane... In good ways and in bad ways.

What a good cinco de mayo... Forgive me if I didn't spell that right :) it's a beautiful night in sothern cal with my friend Ann... I am blessed. If your reading this, I ask for your prayers for my grandpa, as he is not so well. He fell and broke his hip and is not doing well. Pray that he will recieve gods grace for his life... He's a great man that I wish I was able to know better. Hopefully I will get the chance to spend some time with him when I get there.

It's official... This area is like a little slice of heaven. Perfectly warm climate, amazing native flowers and foliage, and stunning beaches with crystal clear ocean. Ann's son Robert took me around this afternoon and we got to see some amazing art and book shops in downtown laguna, and I got to hear some great stories and history of the area. Great day so far :)

Ok, quick update. I got the part, which ended up only being 5 bucks, and I was able to fix it myself in 30 minutes! Yay for that :). I survived rush hour LA traffic, and after two and a half hours I made it the 60 miles to laguna. Now Ann is showing me around and were headed to dinner and drinks at Dana Point harbor. Such a beautiful place!

I found the part! Now waiting for it to get here, then I get to play mechanic and get all dirty... This should be interesting.

Well, the second tow... My roadside assistance has definitely paid for itself! Nothing serious, just a throttle cable. It's something I might be able to do myself... But definitely need a part or two.

Cruising through Malibu :). Very posh... The landscape in northern Cali is definitely prettier though.

Amazing. Definitely a reason why i'm in this campground. Cameron and Aya are awesome people... Definite faith junkies, which is exactly why I am where I am. Amazing people, and great conversation. God is still good... Very good in fact. Thank you God for conversation that brings glory to your amazing creation. Thank you for thorns amidst the beauty that reminds us that there's still work to be done. You are beautiful to me. Your son loves you.

I am settled in Lompoc for the night. At a campground with some pretty cool young neighbors that sold everything and hit the open road. Can't wait to chat with them a bit more and share some stories.
I should get into LA at a decent time tomorrow, but definitely want to stop for a bit in Santa Barbara and Santa Monica. I'm kinda bummed that clouds rolled in before I could get any sunset shots, but I think I got some decent ones earlier in the day.
It was definitely another blessed day out on the road, and Franke is still plugging along without complaint :). God is good.

Los Osos

Hokay... So. I think I got some more good pictures in so far today... we will see tonight. Today has been a very good day so far, but the first part was distracted by a multitude of amazing views and pull-offs. It took me almost 3 hours to drive 40 miles! Part of that was running into some fellow Westie owners that drove Franke’s twin. Almost identical except a little older and not in as good of shape. Really nice hippie types from Victoria British Columbia, and we chatted for probably a good half hour or so.
I stopped at Sacred Heart hermitage as well, which was a winding very steep drive. The drive was worth it though, with amazing views and a killer bookstore where I scored a couple new reads. I’m currently in Los Osos, which is home to www.gowesty.com , experts on anything VW van, so of course I must stop. From here who knows how far I will get, but good sunset pictures are a priority :) Life is good.

God is the perfect artist. He let me capture some breathtaking shots tonight. I just put them on my computer and am blown away. I think I may be discovering a passion in landscape photography. Yay for that :)

Well, here I am. In an overflow parking lot at a camground just south of the touristy Big Sur villiage. All the campgrounds are full around here, but I'm not complaining about my spot, as I am on the edge of a woods with the Big Sur river running through it. Very peaceful actually... The coast in here is absolutely stunning. The perfect stretch to process the last few days. I really wanted to get more miles in, but I have to remind myself that I didn't start driving until noon. 155 is a decent run for the day. I think now might be a good time to call some people and let them know that I'm coming :) Until tomorrow.

Santa Cruz

This is not going to be extremely long, but I’m in Santa Cruz and it’s a beautiful city. Just north of here I stopped and watched kite surfers for awhile, and man, it’s intense! It’s like some sort of art form or something... definitely takes courage and passion to get out there and do something like that. You could tell they were all adrenaline junkies... reminded me of something Blake would do if he lived in the area.
It’s nice and warm here, and I’m going to have to remind myself to put sunscreen on my left arm or I’m really going to look lopsided! My music for the day would have to be a worship CD that my friend Paul recorded... Awesome stuff. The kind of raw music that opens up your heart and pours into you.
Definitely a good day so far. I need to scoot to try and get 100 more miles in before sunset... prayer for the right place to park for the night? Oh, and Franke is doing great still :) She is sporting a new bumper sticker that says “I have no idea where I’m going.” I thought it quite fitting for the both of us :)

I am on the road again :) This morning was breakfast with a group from the community, then some great worshiping with guitar and percussion instuments. It was a great send off.
I've made it about 30 miles and I'm hoping to do 175 by days end, which should put me past Carmel. So I need to get boogying if I want to stop in Santa Cruz!

Ahh... Perfect time for a cold beer :) Gotta love two dollar happy hour! The main thing that I've learned from this leg of my trip would have to be this: hanging around this church community has totally expanded my views on what it means to love others. I like to think of myself as a pretty loving person, but being here has caused me to re-evaluate the motives behind how I love. I've realized that I still have many areas that I need growth in. What a great few days.

Sunshine

The sun is definitely a good thing today. The last couple of days have been rainy and cool, and last night was downright cold. Alan and Tim are some great guys that I chatted with last night. Both love the Lord immensely and live in the church community here, and both are openly gay. Tim is a committed celibate, and Alan chooses not to date as well. They live their lives to bless and encourage others, and their family is their church community. It was a blessing to be able to connect with people that are wired the same as me, and share the same passion for faith.

I’m starting to get anxious to hit the road again, which will probably be first thing tomorrow morning. I can’t wait to see the Big Sur coast, and there’s a few places that I want to check out along the way. Next stop is Los Angeles, and who knows what that chapter will hold, but I pray for Gods will to be done in me and through me... whatever that may look like.

Heavenly father guide my thoughts and my words, and use me to bless others so that your light be shone into dark places. Keep me humble as I am in constant need of your grace. Help me to feel your love for me so that I am able to love others better, and thank you for your son so that I can come to you blameless despite my wretchedness. You are so good to me.

it's been a slow and quiet morning to myself, soaking up the sun and amazing views. Got laundry done and now it's time to move franke again... The parking here is kinda retarded. One of the downfalls of being in a big city I guess. Last night was really good. I had some beers and great conversation with guys that understand where I'm at internally. It was good times. Anyway... Im off for coffee :)

27 and Castro

My sweatshirt is still soaked from the downpour I was caught in, but I’m starting to dry out. 27 years ago at 3:57 AM I was taking my first breaths in this world. It doesn’t feel like my birthday. I’ve been calling myself 27 for the last month to get used to it, so today just feels like any other day. It probably has something to do with the fact that I’ve never spent a birthday without my family until now, and it’s just not a birthday without mom cooking and the family sitting around the dinner table. Today is the first time I really miss home. Call me weak, but I’ve teared up once or twice today... I think I’m turning into even more of a softy. I don’t really mind... I figure it takes a bigger man to be comfortable showing emotion anyway :) I LOVE MY FAMILY.

So my coffee is halfway done, and I’m supposed to be on a mission to find good walking shoes. There are some amazing thrift stores here! All lightly used designer stuff of course :) The rain stopped my search, but now the sun is breaking though again, so I need to venture on. Two side notes: The people that I’ve met here are AWESOME! Some of the most warm and accepting people I’ve ever crossed paths with... and I’ve tried to upload new pictures on here 3 different times now, and a error message keeps coming up, so until I figure that out I will keep posting pictures to my Facebook.

Rain and Valencia St.

So I am in a window of time spent with my thoughts while walking around. Valencia is a nice street with great architecture and quaint shops. The colors and textures here simply blow me away, and I’m amazed at how much detail goes into every building. The city is like one big piece of artwork that has evolved and transformed with time. Even the graffiti is art, and when it’s not telling a story of beauty it’s speaking the magnitude of pain and upheaval that every city this size feels under the surface. This city explains life in all it’s complexity. It isn’t able to hide the ugly parts like most smaller cities. San Francisco wears it’s heart and everything else on it’s sleeve, enticing everyone that just wants to blend in and yet have their own little place in this masterpiece.

Yesterday was spent with Claire driving a route that covered Pacific Heights, Coit tower, little Italy, Chinatown, Financial District, Union Square, and Castro. Not much time was spent at any place, but the goal was just to observe the different people and landscape. Driving down Lombard was awesome! I am so glad that my mechanic insisted that I replace the brake master cylender... this is not the city to even slightly compromise on anything brake related.
I am currently in a Cafe waiting for the rain and fog to clear so that I can get some good pictures. Before I end this I just have to say that the place I’m staying until I leave ROCKS! It’s the top floor of a home that the church owns, and it’s usually used for visiting missionaries and guests. It has a balcony with stunning views of the city and is the perfect place to relax. I am blessed beyond measure. God is good.

Pancakes was awesome. We played UNO and jammed on guitars and percussion instruments :). Fun times.

So I wrote a long blog entry last night, but I was unsuccessful at connecting to the Internet, so today for sure I will find a spot to upload it. I have another one as well from Friday night... Sheesh I'm slacking In the whole blog department. So yea, need to wake up and head to a homeless pancake feed in the park :)

Wine and naked

I am finally in the city, and it is such a beautiful city. I’ve only been around the mission district so far, but there is art and cheap mexican food EVERYWHERE! So happy.

So where were we... oh yes, I need to recap yesterday. It started off with a walk and lots of good picture taking at the campground... I think Ocean Cove was the name of the place. Anyway, I ended up in Santa Rosa, where I picked up a few groceries (couldn’t resist stopping at a Grocery Outlet for dad’s sake) and then my foiled attempt to update my blog from Starbucks. So I hit the road and ended up driving too far north, but found a highway that was really pretty and that landed me in Calistoga. Calistoga was the perfect picturesque town loaded with two kinds of people. Wealthy city dwellers getting away for the weekend... and the hispanics that worked at all the shops. Spanish is more of a primary than a secondary language here come to find out. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But it does bring to the surface the fact that Spokane has almost no racial diversity, which has caused me to want to kindly tell some folks that they are in America, and they should go back to mexico if they don’t want to learn correct English. Not that I would ever say that, I just think it.

I drove north from Calistoga in hopes to find the Silverado Trail, which is a senic drive through wine country. The man at the glass shop didn’t give the best directions... either that or I am inept at getting around in foreign places. I think both might be true. Either way I found myself in Middletown, which is a small little town that probably wouldn’t exist without tourism, but it’s not really a tourist town. Kinda ugly actually... but the first town I’d seen with a carwash on the main drag, and seeing as how I had been needing to give Franke a bath, I promptly slammed on my brakes and pulled in. It was a 3 dollar minimum, and only having two ones and a ten, I headed down the road to get change. Wine tasting 11 to 8 read the sign, so I pulled in to kill two birds with one stone. I was in need of some wine at that moment. Martin was a super friendly guy, originally from the Chezch Republic, and he gave me loads of information on Napa Valley, wine in general, how everything comes down to the soil the grapes come from, and the whole organic growing process. It was a great history lesson. I still hadn’t found a place to stay for the night, so I asked if there was any place he recommended. He told me about a hot springs that was just up the road, and being a bit stiff and sore, I decided that was just what I needed.

The sun had set by the time I had washed Franke, and I headed up the road he told me to turn on. “Half to a mile up and you’ll take a right, you can’t miss it” were his words. When someone says you can’t miss it, I expect at least a large sign with an arrow. So 5 miles and a STEEP grade later, I decided to turn around and head back. Ends up the turn was only a few blocks in, and the sign wasn’t much bigger than the palm of my hand. It was dark by the time I got there, so I pulled up to register anticipating soaking my now stressed muscles in hot water. “Be aware that this is a clothing optional hot springs,” the man told me. Yeah, sure, fine, whatever, I thought to myself. My only other hot springs experience flashed in my head, and there were sections where people went if they wanted to be nude, but most kept their shorts on outside of the locker room. I parked the van and decided to take a stroll around. It was a very peaceful setting... in a buddhist, feng shui, new age-ish kind of way. I made my way to the pools, where I was welcomed by lots and lots of naked. There was not a single person with clothes on unless they were in the changing room. And we’re not just talking the wrinkled saggy types that usually frequent hot springs... there were many young attractive naked people. My tense muscles did not relax at this sight, and I promptly headed back to my van to drink the bottle of wine that I bought. After much contemplation and liquid courage I made my way back to the pools. Entering the changing room I quickly realized that there were no mens or womens section, but just a large well heated room where men and women casually conversed while dressing or undressing. What blew my mind is that most would delay the process of putting on their clothes, and just stand there talking... naked! This had to be one of the most foreign experiences of my life. I have a hard enough time being naked in front of myself... let alone a bunch of people. No sooner had I dropped my shorts, and my towel was wrapped neatly around me. Once I made it into the water I was okay, and glad to have some relief for my muscles. There was definitely a kind of creepy vibe about the place... I got the feeling that it’s the kind of spot where a lot goes on behind closed doors. Anyway, I’m going to end there because I’m really tired and it’s late and I need to process my day. Peace.

Made it to San Fran! With Claire at her church for an evening service :). Yay for huge cities! Boo for franke and steep hills :(

I'm on the road again! I'm heading into the bay area today by way of senic napa valley :). No service again last night, and last night was... Interesting. More on that later.

Calistoga is beautiful! 75 and sunny. I'm drinking a tangerine wheat microbrew at a local spot to get out of the sun, then I'm going to take an even more senic trail to catch some views at sunset. I have no idea where i'm going to stay tonight, so I'm praying I run into the right place/people. I am still writing more detailed blogs in my computer, and I will post them when I decide to search for Wi-Fi.

Helioo traffic

K... So I haven't had cell service for the majority of the last 24 hours. I got into Santa Rosa to find a starbucks to update from, and I'm in starbucks, but it's part of a barnes and noble, so unless I want to pay $25 for a years membership, no Wi-Fi for me... And I already have my coffee! Grrr. K, I'm done throwing an internal fit. I'm still updating, just from my phone.
California costs more... It's actually almost hot out, and the people definitely have a sharper edge compaired to oregonians. Everyone is wearing an attitude. Alright... I'm taking my lack of connection to mean that I should press on, so until next time.