I need to shave

So I’ve decided that the best titles to my blog are the first thing that comes to my mind... such as shaving. Thinking about shaving makes me wonder if I’m actually going to keep up on maintaining my face while traveling. It’s not a small task by any means, and a good part of me thinks I should just pull a grizzly adams and let it all go. That would be the lazy hippie-ish part of me. But let’s face it... the high maintenance side will win this one because I am simply too vain, and not ashamed to admit it. I bought a power inverter primarily so that my razor and sonicare could stay charged... cause heaven forbid I use a manual toothbrush or a bic with shaving cream! I crack myself up.

So let’s see... where are we at... oh YEA, I’m effing there! I only have 2 days left at my job now, which is kind of bittersweet, cause it was a needed and good chapter for me, but I will kinda miss it in an odd and dysfunctional way. I leave Spokane in 12 days, which by any indication of the last few months, will FLY by. THIS IS REAL... ‘pinch’ K, just making sure. Franke needs some last minute TLC, so I’ll bring her in tomorrow to see what the damage will be. MAN... I have to start playing tetris with the van to see how everything is going to fit best, I need a flash drive for photo back up, rechargeable batteries, and I might have to buy a pair of Sanuks so that I can put the bumper sticker Blake gave me on Franke. Lots of get togethers, lots of coffee dates, lots of goodbyes. Almost there and I’m still very excited and very scared.

Blessed

It’s going to be hard to put words to the fullness that I feel right now. Not physical fullness, but a fullness of spirit and a joy about life. We are now down to just 19 days before I leave.
Last night we had a great dinner with Cheryl and Don, Teresa, Tiffany and Tony, Connor, Colleen, Michael, Hannah, Mom, Dad and myself. The food was prepared with love, the wine was abundantly flowing and the laughter and good conversation was enough to fill everyone with a simple joy. It was such a good time. It made me realized how fortunate I am to have such great company placed in my life, and how loved I really am.
Then today I had coffee with Scott and Desiree, some dear friends that I sold a house to a few years ago, and it almost brought me to tears to see how well they’re doing considering all of the stuff I’ve seen them go through. I am so thankful that God caused our paths to cross and that I was able to be there for them in some of their darker days. Scott gave me 60 cents (for the midwest toll roads) and a military knife that his dad gave him, and Desiree gave me a picture of their baby girl to take with me on the road. I don’t know why these simple things meant so much to me, but they are some of the greatest gifts I’ve received.
Tonight a good friend from high school Brad and his wife Kendall had Michael and me over to dinner. More great food and conversation, and more realizing how blessed I am to know such great people. Playing with their kids Kaden and Emmaline was awesome. They liked my hair, so they decided to brush it and style it for me :)
I have felt so much love in the last 24 hours that I am over-flowing... and it’s a really nice feeling.

First night

I fared better than I thought I would. It was 29 degrees last night and I didn’t have a fan for white noise, but I actually slept the whole night through! The mattress pads are rather firm, but work well enough. It’s nice to have a glimpse at what the next couple of months on the road are going to be like. My van ROCKS.

We played Settlers of Catan last night, and I picked it up quite quickly. It is a very competitive and addictive game, and now I can see why half my family can’t stop playing it!
I’m always reminded how beautiful it is up here when I visit. The mountains surround you and comfort you and seem to sing with the beauty of Gods artistry. I often ask myself why someone would want to live in a tiny hick town like Kettle, and my question is answered through nature every time I drive up here. It is like being in an artwork masterpiece... constantly being reminded of what God gave us in his creation.

Kettle Falls

I am in Kettle Falls at the moment. Drove up with Hannah to visit Izz and Jess and the fam for a couple of days. I’m now down to two weeks until I leave Lexus, and just over 3 weeks before I leave town. Franke did beautifully on the drive up here with no hiccups to speak of. I still need to have my tires rotated and balanced, and for some reason my parking brake decided to quit working... so that needs to be fixed as well. I also have the front bushings still to do, shocks, oil change and a few other things that need to be checked. Tonight will be the first time sleeping in the van :) and I feel like a kid playing fort all over again. Franke is all set up with the front seats swiveled, the top popped and the curtains drawn. After sitting for two years I think she’s happy to be loved and used again.

I can’t begin to say how much I love my family. It’s been way too long since I’ve been up here, and I’m so glad I’m doing this before I leave. My nephew is the greatest in the world! We were playing chase around the house and my heart hasn’t smiled so much in a long time. I feel full and happy and blessed beyond measure. God is good.

Oscars

Today was the Oscars, or the super bowl for gays as we like to call it. Going along with a standing tradition it was spent with Michael, John and Shawn filling out our score sheets, sharing gossip and eating large quantities of carbs and high fructose corn syrup. An evening well spent. :)

In 22 days I leave my job, and in 32 days I get behind the wheel of Franke and sail into a big question mark. I have my backpack for Europe, my tools, a road atlas and a spirit for adventure. God help me, cause I’ll need it. I was having some flashbacks of childhood trauma today, and of course it caused me to dig into the deeper meanings of things. I remembered being on a boat with friends of my parents when the propeller hit rocks and stopped working. I couldn’t have been more than 7, and I was petrified with fear. Going camping one year our car broke down, and again, one of the most intense moments of fear that I can remember. Several other times, all having to with breaking down or being stranded really stood out to me as being one of greatest root causes of fear in me. I think this is largely why comfort and security have been my driving factor for as long as I can remember.

In light of my driving 6000+ miles by myself in a car that’s definitely not known for reliability, these flashbacks make sense. I am facing a huge fear in me. A fear that stems from being helpless and stranded with no security blanket. I have to learn to trust God more than my circumstances. I have to trust that he will get me where I need to go, and if there happens to be breakdowns (with the van or me) I have to trust that he has a plan and will walk with me through the steps I need to take. Around every corner in this journey I am stepping into the unknown, and safe, (one of my favorite feelings) is going to be gone most of the time. The ‘safe’ I’m referring to is of course ‘my safe.’ What I mean by ‘my safe’ is the bubble I strive to create through my surroundings, habits, rituals, relationships etc. I think God wants his safe to be my safe... but his safe scares me. My safe is predictable and comfortable, his is not. I think this might have a part in why this journey has become a reality. Time will tell I guess.