Stuffed

I am so full right now I could explode. We had our book group tonight and ate manicotti, italian bread, millenium torte and ice cream. I regret the second helping of ice cream.

Today was stressful. You know the point where everything comes to a boil in your head and emotions and you feel like only one small event or word stands between you and a chaotic meltdown? That kind of stressful. I will be the first to admit that I’m not good at preparation... or maybe it’s just the fact that I way over-analyze it. Sometimes I spend way too much time with the little details... and loose sight of the big picture.

I decided to buy basic groceries for the road today. It didn’t help my already high stress level to find myself in a packed Wal-Mart full of screaming children and people that looked like they haven’t made it out of the house in the last year. I had my basic list of necessities in hand, but kept on thinking of the ‘what ifs’ and ‘I might’ needs, and my basics quickly turned into a $100 cart full of crap. Immediately after leaving the store I power smoked a cigarette to try and ease the stress filled shame I felt from falling for another consumeristic blunder. At this point I’m thinking it would have been a much better idea to have not purchased anything in preparation for my trip, and to just leave with the clothes on my back. I have no idea how I’m going to fit all of this into Franke, and if there’s any official bandwagon of hippies out there, I’m sure my application would be promptly rejected.

So here I sit... only a few more days left. The van is in the shop... and for the first time today my head is quiet, and right now quiet is good.